Making Rain While I Cry
by Spunky0ne
Summary: Byakuya and Tetsuya share a deep, torrid, secret love affair that ends suddenly when the elders choose a husband for their clan leader. Although determined to quietly accept what happens, the two slowly come apart at the seams. Can one tiny ray of hope keep them from falling apart?...yaoi, Byakuya/Tetsuya, mpreg
1. Secret Love

**Making Rain While I Cry**

**By Spunky0ne**

**(The return of Walkure's (the great mind behind such amazing storylines as _Learning to Love Without Sake, Unscattered, Bearers of the New King, and Who I Am Inside)_ much missed influence and a very angsty, stormy romance that will really bring Byakuya and Tetsuya to the breaking point! Walkure, you are so evil! *hugs Tetsuya* But I promise, this will be an _excellent_story! Enjoy! Love, Spunky)**

**XXXXXXXXXX**

**Chapter 1: Secret Love**

"Good evening, Byakuya-sama," Kuchiki Torio said, entering the clan leader's bedroom and hastening into the dressing area, where he quickly removed Byakuya's uniform and slipped a towel around his body.

"Good evening, Torio," Byakuya answered quietly, standing still as he was undressed, then nodding briefly in gratitude before starting towards the garden doors.

"Will you be wanting my assistance with your bathing?" Torio asked, smiling because he already knew the answer.

"No...thank you," Byakuya said solemnly, "Please see that my evening tea and Tetsuya's are prepared and waiting."

"Of course, sir," answered the attendant, his smile remaining as he watched the clan leader leave the room.

Byakuya walked quietly to the end of the main wing of the manor, then stepped off of the walkway and made his way to the bathing house. He stepped inside, breathing a sigh of contentment that his long day was over and the time for winding down and seeing to more enjoyable things had come.

He paused for a moment, to breathe in the scent of the flowers that grew about the room, basking in the feel of that place being like part of the gardens. His bare feet embraced the feel of the grass as he walked to the edge of the pool that dominated the room, and let his towel fall away. Looking up through the skylight, he admired the full moon, loving how the glass domed ceiling let in the softer light, making the environment serene for evening bathing...and..._other pleasant pursuits._

He stepped into the water, wading slowly out to where several warm waterfalls made natural showers to stand beneath. He settled under one, closing his eyes as he tilted his head back, letting the water spill down into his raven hair and wet it. Lines of water ran down his naked body, following the fine, pale curves and becoming part of the pool he stood in.

As much as he tried, he couldn't pinpoint the moment when the water around him seemed to come to life. Watery arms wrapped around him from behind and wet lips trailed kisses along the side of his throat. The water behind him darkened and solidified slowly, revealing a slighter, more delicate noble, one also with lovely, pale skin, and eyes like bright sapphires.

"Tetsuya," Byakuya whispered in greeting, loosing a shivering breath as Tetsuya's body shimmered and turned to water again, then slid down and around his cousin's body, running tender kisses all of the way down.

Tetsuya re-formed in front of the Kuchiki heir, lowered onto his knees, his head dutifully bowed and his mouth providing unspeakable pleasure as it explored Byakuya's nether region. Byakuya's eyes closed and his fingers threaded into the wet, wavy strands of Tetsuya's riled hair, encouraging his unhurried, and deeply enthralling attentions. And although he was, for the most part, quiet and reserved, under his younger cousin's ministrations, he became more like the teen he had been when Tetsuya had first come to the manor, years before...high tempered and passionate, responding to Tetsuya's warm affections with deep, longing moans and tremulous sighs.

Tetsuya's hands clenched at his inner thighs, and he treasured his elder cousin's flesh reverently, reveling in the sweet taste of his skin and bringing him gradually to his wits end. Tetsuya waited until he felt the warning tremor in his cousin's muscular legs, then watched the clan leader's blissful face as he climaxed, devouring his warm essence as though starved for it, then turning his body to water again, and sliding up Byakuya's shuddering torso, sinking into his mouth and sharing the delectable blending of their flavors.

Neither of the two spoke a word as Tetsuya's hands caressed the soap onto the weary clan leader's skin. And under the healing touch of his cousin's hands and reiatsu, Byakuya was slowly revived. His dark eyes were calm and sleepy as the two emerged from the water and Tetsuya dried Byakuya's damp body first, then started to dry his own. He smiled and blushed slightly as the warmed towel was taken from his hands, and Byakuya saw to the task, finishing with a long, grateful kiss to show his genuine appreciation.

They donned sleeping yukatas and walked back to Byakuya's bedroom, careful not to show any outward signs of their intimate relationship. But as soon as they were inside Byakuya's room and the doors to the outside world closed, Tetsuya turned and brought the surprised clan leader down on the bed on his back. He mounted Byakuya's powerful body, groaning blissfully as he was penetrated, then writhing wantonly atop his cousin's wildly thrusting body. letting his head fall back as his hands held on and gasps of intense pleasure escaped him. He felt Byakuya's hand begin to pleasure him and sensed the tightening of the hot coil in his belly. Hard, panting moans escaped him as the erotic tension between them rose. Tetsuya was nearly blinded with pleasure, when Byakuya turned suddenly, making him groan unhappily as they separated for a moment and the clan leader threw his cousin roughly onto his belly, entering him again from behind and watching with blazing eyes as Tetsuya clawed at the bedding and loosed more feral sounds of delight. Tetsuya's hips rose to meet each powerful, grinding thrust as the two continued their wonderfully heated joining. Tetsuya's passionate moans rose into hard cries of completion as Byakuya's member found that most sensitive place, deep inside him and struck repeatedly. Byakuya's gasp of pleasure followed, and delicious warmth flooded Tetsuya inside, making him collapse beneath his cousin. They laid for a long time after, exchanging slower, more indulgent kisses, before curling into each others arms and drifting towards sleep.

"Aishiteru yo, Tetsuya," Byakuya whispered, "I love you with all of my heart."

"I live and breathe to love you," Tetsuya replied softly, "I am yours alone."

They went quiet then, succumbing to sleep as the bright moon crawled across the sky and the night sounds lulled them. Tetsuya was careful to wake well before dawn, and he offered his cousin a final, affectionate kiss on the cheek as he exited the bed and left for his own room. His sleepy-eyed attendant appeared with tea, then waited as he showered briefly in the bathroom at the back of his bedroom, then dressed him in the dark blue uniform of the home security staff.

"Will that be all, Tetsuya-san?" his attendant asked, looking him over to make sure everything was as it should be.

"Yes, thank you, Koji-san."

Koji bowed and yawned a brief farewell as Tetsuya left the room and began making the rounds of the manor security checkpoints. Byakuya was up, dressed and waiting with Rukia at the garden table when he returned to join them for breakfast. He sat quietly across the table from the clan leader as they ate, his eyes respectfully lowered and showing no overt signs of the easy familiarity he had before.

"Was all well on your rounds, Cousin?" Byakuya asked, meeting his blue eyes for a moment.

"Everything is as it should be, Byakuya-sama," Tetsuya replied, nodding briefly, then looking away again.

"Tetsuya-san," said Rukia, "Would you and Arashi like to join Ichigo, Renji and me in Karakura Town today? You said that you would come and join us for a picnic when we went next time. I think Rikichi-san will be going. He seems to really like your company."

"Ah, regretfully, I must attend a meeting of the elders with Byakuya-sama that will take up most of the middle of the day," he replied, avoiding Byakuya's gaze, "Perhaps next time, Rukia-chan."

"Why don't you go with Rukia?" Byakuya asked, carefully controlling his voice and facial expression, "I do not remember the last time you took a day of relaxation."

Tetsuya's eyes registered only a brief moment of hurt reaction, but he quickly recovered himself.

"Byakuya-sama knows that I am completely committed to his well-being," he answered cryptically, "I am content to remain here and attend the meeting with you."

"All right," said Rukia, "but you really have to come next time."

She leaned closer, grinning.

"I think Rikichi-san has a crush on you."

Tetsuya only smiled briefly and sipped at his tea, carefully avoiding locking eyes with Byakuya again.

When the three finished their meal, Byakuya rose and turned back towards his bedroom.

"Tetsuya, will you join me for a moment?"

Tetsuya's lips stiffened, but he climbed wordlessly to his feet and followed his cousin back inside. Byakuya closed the garden doors and pushed him up against them, burying his mouth in his younger cousin's and weakening Tetsuya's legs beneath him. They remained that way, with Tetsuya pressed up against the closed doors and kissing hungrily, before Byakuya pulled away and looked calmly into the younger man's blue eyes.

"You know that it would be all right, Tetsuya...both for you to go, and for you to allow your friendship with Rikichi to change."

Tetsuya's eyes registered that hurt look again and he paused to find the right words.

"I am aware that what is between us must always remain private," he said finally, "And that there is no hope of it ever being made an official union. But my heart belongs to you. It knows no other love, and never will. As much as I do care for Rikichi-san, I do not love him. And I could never pretend to...not even to spare your feelings of guilt. Do not worry about me, Cousin. I am all right the way I am. This is all you can offer me, and I am deeply grateful."

"But I don't want you to end up alone, Tetsuya," Byakuya insisted, "You know that the council has been working at finding me a suitable mate, and the day will come that they find someone."

"And Byakuya-sama will take that person's hand, as he promised his late parents in the wake of losing Hisana-sama, I understand," Tetsuya said solemnly.

"I would fight this if I could..."

"But your promise to your parents is important to you. So, you must obey the dictates of the council."

"Yes," Byakuya affirmed, lowering his eyes, "But I would feel better knowing that you would not be alone, Tetsuya. I feel horrid at having stolen the beauty of your love for myself, when that gift should have gone to someone more deserving of your affections. And now the damage cannot be undone. I love you so much, Tetsuya. But I cannot express that love properly. Please, Cousin, do not shut your heart away because of me. It would torment me to see you in pain because of our love."

Tetsuya managed a small smile and kissed him very gently on the frowning mouth.

"Come, Byakuya-sama, the council awaits us."

Byakuya pressed up against Tetsuya's body again, spending several more minutes plundering his sweet mouth and letting his hands explore beneath his uniform. Tetsuya yielded quietly, hoping as always that this meeting of their lips wouldn't be the last, yet knowing inwardly that the time was coming. He straightened and set his uniform back in order as Byakuya released him, then followed him back into the gardens, where Tetsuya's tall black stallion awaited them.

"Good morning, Arashi," Byakuya greeted the horse, waiting as Tetsuya mounted, then accepting his cousin's hand as Tetsuya helped him mount and slide in behind him. Tetsuya sighed contentedly at the feel of his cousin's arms embracing him as Arashi broke into a trot, carrying them out of the gardens, through the manor gates and out onto the road.

"Good morning Taichou!" Renji called as the two passed him.

"Renji," Byakuya replied, nodding briefly in passing.

The two aboard the stallion exchanged no more words until they reached the stately Kuchiki Council Hall and dismounted. Tetsuya slid down first and offered Byakuya his hand, helping him down, then sending the stallion trotting away with an affectionate pat. The two looked up in surprise at seeing a group of elders from a neighboring clan entering the building in front of them.

"Aren't they from the Aomori clan?" Tetsuya queried.

"Yes," Byakuya confirmed, his voice tensing, "They have an eligible son who has come of age and is descended of the Breeders. Usually, the Breeders are looked down on, but Aomori Minori is of exceptional bloodline, so he has the highest status among the suitors the elders have been considering. Tetsuya..."

"Byakuya-sama doesn't need to remind me of what we already know," Tetsuya said, carefully evading the hand that sought his.

Byakuya's eyes reflected sadness for a moment, but he gave a resigned sigh and turned away. Tetsuya fell in behind him, a silent shadow that followed him up the stone steps and inside. They separated as they entered the meeting hall, Byakuya to move to the head of the meeting table and Tetsuya to sit in a quiet alcove to watch over his leader throughout the gathering.

"Greetings," said Head Councilor, Kuchiki Nori, "And welcome to our brothers from the Aomori clan. We are pleased to have you with us this morning. And I understand that you have considered our offer?"

"We have," the leader of the Aomori clan said, rising.

He indicated briefly, a young man sitting at his side, who wore a less than comfortable look on his comely face.

"My son, Minori, graciously accepts your proposal for Byakuya's hand in marriage. Our elders feel that their strong bloodlines will produce fine heirs for the Kuchiki clan and their union will bring harmony between us for the first time in nearly five-hundred years."

Byakuya was careful to give no outward sign of reaction to the declaration, and he and Tetsuya avoided any amount of eye contact.

"This is wonderful news," Nori said approvingly, "We shall make the announcement tomorrow, and begin the ceremonies of courtship immediately!"

Tetsuya barely heard the rest of what was said, and exited swiftly as soon as the meeting was adjourned. He started out of the building, but paused as a mocking voice reached his ears.

"Are you all right, Tetsuya? You look pale. Were you actually surprised? You knew that they would end things for you, sooner or later, ne?"

Tetsuya ignored his black-eyed cousin and looked about for Arashi.

"What is this? No answer? You must be lost for words," the other man said, touching his shoulder.

Tetsuya turned swiftly, his eyes glaring at the gesture, and bringing a predatory smile to his cousin's lips.

"Do not dare to put your hands on me, Orochi," he said warningly, "I no longer have to tolerate your cruelty!"

"Poor, poor Tetsuya," Orochi said mockingly, "Did you really think that if you went to bed with him enough times and gave him enough pleasure, he would defy everyone for you? You are a fool!"

"Get away from me!" Tetsuya hissed furiously, leaping onto Arashi's back and turning his mount.

He scanned the area for Byakuya and his breath caught at seeing him leaving the council hall on foot with Minori and his father.

"Face the facts, Tetsuya," Orochi said in a calmer, more solemn voice, "No matter how far you leave Itamigiri behind, you will not change the way things are. You are a half-blood, who will never be good enough for him. You may have soiled him a bit, but he will brush you off and leave you behind easily. You should never have been so stupid as to give your heart to him...your body...all of your desire. You asked for the pain he is handing you. Will you never learn?"

Tetsuya spurred Arashi into a gallop, sweeping by the group walking to the manor and leaving them behind. He blazed through the streets of the Seireitei at flash step speed, glad that no one could see the tears that had started to leak onto his handsome face. He passed through the manor gates without slowing and barreled across the gardens, sending Arashi over the back gate and onto the forest trail beyond. They continued at that breakneck pace until they reached the waterfall that had been the place of many of their clandestine joinings. He slid down off of Arashi's back, burying his face in the stallion's mane as hard, silent sobs gripped his body.

_Master! _Arashi's voice pleaded with him, _Master, please do not cry!_

But Tetsuya was beyond hearing. He slid slowly to the ground at Arashi's feet, the weight of what was happening bringing sickness inside and more silent, heaving sobs.

"Wh-why?" he whispered brokenly, "Why did I have to be born a half-blood? Why, Arashi? Why was I even born at all! It doesn't matter what I do or how strong I become. I will never be good enough! I will never be anything but a servant!"

He descended into hopeless tears that persisted until some time later, when he was startled out of them by a sound on the trail, behind him. He and Arashi disappeared into the trees, watching as Byakuya appeared with Minori and the Aomori son's attendant. They walked to the sakura tree under which Tetsuya had been standing and looked quietly out over the lake and meadow in front of them.

"I hope that you will be happy, here at Kuchiki Manor," Byakuya said kindly.

The younger man's lips trembled slightly as he answered.

"You have certainly made me feel welcome, Byakuya."

Byakuya took the younger man's hand and pressed his lips to the back for a moment, then nodded. The two continued to gaze silently out across the meadow as Tetsuya, still raining tears, slipped further into the trees and disappeared. He fled, then, to his room at the manor and let the grief pour silently out of him until he dropped off into an uneasy sleep. He didn't wake, even when Byakuya came to his room, later that night.

"I am sorry, sir," Koji said respectfully, "But Tetsuya-san seems ill and is already asleep. He asked not to be disturbed."

"I see," Byakuya said, swallowing hard and turning away, "Please take care of him, Koji."

Koji's lips stiffened and he had to pause a moment before answering.

"I will, Byakuya-sama."

But he couldn't stem the flow of his emotions as the Kuchiki heir disappeared down the hallway.

"How could you do this?" he whispered, looking in at Tetsuya's tormented expression, "How could you hurt him like this? Just because he was born a half-blood..."

"Koji, mind your tongue," Tetsuya's voice said softly, startling his attendant, "I will not have you blaming Byakuya-sama for something I allowed to happen."

_Even if this was all of the time we had, I will not be sorry. I will take this pain on my heart because I never had a choice about loving him. I only wonder._

_Is my heart truly strong enough for this?_

_Can I really stand at his side and watch him leave me behind?_

The questions continued in Tetsuya's tortured mind and followed him into sleep.


	2. Between the Raindrops

**Chapter 2: Between the Raindrops**

**(You will notice that I have changed slightly, the way Tetsuya escaped Itamigiri, but that will come out in the story. Just wanted to mention as it alters the association between Tetsuya and Byakuya. Thanks so much to SunlessNights (It will be sad at first, but I promise a really great story and a happy ending, so read without fear!), MissLilly2012 (Thanks so much! I am glad you like it so far.), Henka-chan (Yes, it is sad for Tetsuya and Byakuya is more broken up than he is able to express, but there are things at work that will turn things around for them soon, so smile through the tears. They will come through this.), Purple Light Snow (I cried writing it. But sometimes that is a healing thing to write good angst that helps shed RL emotion.), Kittykins (Me too! Piles of them!), Picklez80 (That's right! Never fear...), Anon (So sorry about your experience. And I am not sure if it will go active or not. I am updating this time based on requests, but if it seems to take off, I will make it an active story.), TehWonderer (You've got it! Update delivered.), and Winterheart2000 (I think Byakuya already kind of knows he won't be able to walk away. It's just a question of what it will take to get him to act on his feelings.) Enjoy the chapter! :) Love, Spunky)**

Tetsuya gave a sigh of relief at waking well before dawn, but groaned a moment later as a feeling of discomfort passed through his midsection. Not one to spend much time being ill, he tried to brush the feeling off and sat up. He caught his breath as his head went into an odd spin and the feeling of nausea grew. He hoped fervently that Koji would still be sleeping too deeply to notice, but groaned again a moment later as he heard his attendant's footsteps approaching.

"Tetsuya-san?" Koji said questioningly, "Are you still feeling...?"

He paused, staring in surprise as his cousin exited the bed at flash step speed and sought his bathroom.

"Oh..." the attendant sighed, shaking his head sympathetically at the sounds that reached him, "Poor Tetsuya-san!"

He frowned and listened until the worst sounds of discomfort had faded, then joined Tetsuya in the bathroom, first washing his pale, sweaty face with a cool, wet washcloth, then moving to help him back into bed.

"Tetsuya-san!" he objected as his cousin, instead walked into the dressing area, "You can't be thinking of just going about your business as usual. You are obviously ill! Please, let me take care of you."

"I am fine," Tetsuya said, closing his eyes and breathing slowly, "I just...needed a moment."

"Don't be silly. You need to lie down, Tetsuya-san. Byakuya-sama will not be pleased if you don't take care of yourself."

"I said I am fine!" Tetsuya snapped.

He stopped himself immediately, observing the shocked and hurt expression on Koji's face.

"I am sorry," he apologized, "I didn't mean to..."

"It's all right, Tetsuya-san," Koji said, recovering quickly, "You aren't well. Please, Cousin, go back to bed. I will make you some ginger tea to make you feel better."

"That is very kind of you, but I assure you, I am all right, now. I just need to get dressed and moving."

He captured Koji's hand in his and brought it to his face for a moment, making the younger man blush slightly.

"You see, I am not feverish," he insisted, "I just had some lingering effects from...from yesterday."

Koji bit his lip gently, measuring what he saw in his master's eyes.

"I know it was very difficult for you, Tetsuya-san. You and Byakuya-sama...are...very close. I can't begin to tell you how sorry I am."

Tetsuya managed a small smile.

"Thank you, Koji-san. I am very grateful for your concern. But I am not a child. I knew going in what was likely to happen."

He sighed resignedly, lowering his eyes.

"I just didn't expect it would be so soon. But we had a number of years of that sort, and even though they are over and we are forced to change the way we are, I am...not sorry."

Koji swallowed hard, his heart pounding.

"I understand the pressure he is under," he acknowledged softly, "But...I know that if I was with Tetsuya-san, I would never let anything take him away from me."

Tetsuya was shocked at the tears that came instantly to his eyes at the words. Koji's face blanched at the sight of them.

"Tetsuya-san!" he whispered urgently, "Tetsuya-san, I didn't mean to..."

"I know," Tetsuya said, smiling as several tears leaked onto his face, "You are very kind, Koji-san. I am lucky that Byakuya-sama chose you to attend me. You have been with me through everything. You are the most loyal of friends."

Koji's lips tightened as he fought his own tears.

"Friends and lovers should always have perfect loyalty to each other, Tetsuya-san," he said meaningfully, "No matter what."

He considered his choices for a moment, then moved forward and brushed the tears away from Tetsuya's pale face, slipping his arms around him and smiling sadly as Tetsuya returned his embrace.

"Koji, please excuse us," said Byakuya from the doorway, "I need to speak to our cousin."

Koji stiffened for a moment, then managed a short, silent nod and disappeared out the door. Tetsuya remained, facing the full length mirror as Byakuya's arms wrapped around him, embracing him from behind and the clan leader's head dropped onto his shoulders.

"I do not imagine that you even want to speak to me," he said softly, "I would understand if you hated me, Tetsuya.

"What peace would there be in hating you?" Tetsuya asked, meeting his eyes in the mirror for a moment, then looking away, "You never promised me forever. You never said that you would defy them for me. And why would you? Your parents mean so much to you. You must keep your promise to them."

"I should never have made that promise," Byakuya breathed, his breath warm, but sending a feeling of ice through Tetsuya's veins, "It has only brought misery."

"We have said all there is to say," Tetsuya said quietly, "You should go. It isn't right for you to be with me when you are officially engaged to Minori."

He shivered as Byakuya's head rose off his shoulder, and the clan leader's lips sought his.

"S-stop!" he managed, pulling away.

The two stared at each other for a long, painful moment.

"You know very well that I am an honorable person," Tetsuya said in a low, shaky voice, "I could not look him in the eyes if I lowered myself to...to _that_. You have made your decision about our future, and I have accepted it. Please do not make things more difficult by confusing me! It would be only a momentary escape, and then we both would regret it! Let us not have our last time together be anything but the perfection that it was while it lasted. It was just a dream, Byakuya-sama, a wonderful, beautiful dream. But all dreams end, and when they do, we must still find it in ourselves to wake and face the truth. I am a half-blood. I am not worthy of being more than a servant to you."

"I have never treated you like a servant. Not ever!" Byakuya said, giving him a surprised look.

"No, never," Tetsuya agreed, "Until yesterday, when you chose to walk away."

"You said that you understood," Byakuya said, confusion and hurt plain in his eyes.

"I do," Tetsuya said quietly, "That is why I let you go without a fight. But now that you have made that decision, we have to live with the consequences. I am trying to do that, and I know you are too. And yes, it is lonely and difficult to walk that path. But we have already been at the crossroads, and we have no choice but to move down our separate paths now. Please, Byakuya-sama, I want to be able to remain at your side. I only ever wanted to be close to you. But we cannot remain close if you threaten to dishonor us!"

Byakuya stiffened at the words and went silent for several long minutes. Tetsuya felt a shaft of coldness pass through him as Byakuya straightened and he felt the icy wall rise between them.

"Very well. I am sorry for bothering you, Cousin. Return to your bed now and let Koji care for you. You do not look well."

It was all Tetsuya could do to remain on his feet until the clan leader had disappeared down the hallway. The moment he was alone, the strong facade he had put up crumbled and he started to fall onto his knees. He sucked in a surprised breath as Koji's arms captured him and brought him down more gently. The attendant embraced him warmly as Tetsuya descended into soft, gripping sobs. Neither of the two noticed when Byakuya reappeared a short distance away, watching them with tragically sad eyes.

"I am sorry, Tetsuya-san. I am so sorry!" Koji whispered, holding his inconsolable cousin tightly against him and resting his teary face on the top of Tetsuya's bowed head.

Thunder sounded outside the manor and within Tetsuya's room, small splashes of raindrops began to trickle down onto the two. Outside Tetsuya's garden doors, Arashi's worried whinny sounded.

"Come now, Tetsuya-san," Koji said, his voice shaking, "Let me get you settled. You're all out of sorts. Some warm tea and some rest will make you feel better. Come."

"You are right," Tetsuya sighed wearily, letting the attendant help him to his feet, "Thank you, Koji."

Koji slipped an arm around his waist and helped him back into bed, then tucked him in and went to make the tea, leaving Tetsuya lying quietly in bed and listening to the rain falling outside. He smelled the rain's freshening scent and heard Arashi's feet tap discontentedly on the walkway as he moved under the eaves to avoid getting soaked.

_You should go back to the barn, baka! _Tetsuya scolded him mentally.

_I had to be sure that you were all right, _Arashi answered, banging him hoof impatiently on the wall outside.

_I will be all right,_ Tetsuya assured him, _I admit, I am in terrible pain, but it is not going to overwhelm me. Go back to the barn Arashi. Koji-san is here. He will take care of me._

_As you wish,_ Arashi answered, moving away.

Koji re-entered the room, carrying the tea tray and giving Tetsuya a bracing smile.

"Chamomile tea to soothe you," he announced, setting the tea tray down and picking up a teacup, which he handed to Tetsuya "with fresh mint from the gardens to soothe your stomach."

"Thank you, Koji," Tetsuya said, sipping at the tea, then setting it on the nightstand and lying down again.

He blinked in surprise and blushed as Koji slid into the bed, beside him.

"K-koji-san..."

"Shhh," the attendant said, shaking his head, "I am not going to do anything improper. I just remembered when Tetsuya-san first escaped the prison and came to live with us. For a time after you arrived, you could not sleep alone. So I laid down with you and comforted you so that you could fall asleep. I know our boundaries. I only mean to comfort you, Tetsuya-san."

"Ah," Tetsuya sighed, closing his eyes as Koji stretched out alongside him and calmed him with gentle touches on his face and hair.

Outside Tetsuya's door, Byakuya watched with guilt ridden eyes until his cousin's were both asleep, then fled quickly to his room. He stood silently, aching inside as Torio silently dressed him, then hurried out of the manor and to the sixth division, arriving even earlier than usual and burying himself in paperwork. He barely noticed when Renji arrived and seemed to sleepwalk through the taichous' meeting. He returned to his desk after lunch, not even greeting Renji as he dropped into his seat and dove back into his work. He was oblivious to the redhead's worried eyes that touched him every now and again, until Renji couldn't stand it anymore, and broke the silence between them.

"Hey uh, Taichou?"

Byakuya froze and blinked in surprise at having completely forgotten where he was, and that Renji was there.

"Y-yes, Abarai fukutaichou?"

"Erm...sir, you look like something's bothering you today."

Byakuya's lips tightened and he looked back down at his work, mentally dismissing the redhead.

"I am fine."

Renji reached up and scratched the back of his neck, watching the stoic noble work, then frowning and abandoning the room for several minutes to make tea. He returned with the tea and set it down at the noble's elbow, taking a seat in the chair beside his desk. Byakuya took up the tea without pausing or raising his head to look at his subordinate.

"Thank you," Renji," he said absently.

Renji sat quietly, watching him closely, then shook his head.

"Hey Taichou, where's your shadow today?"

"What?" Byakuya said, looking up and frowning in confusion, "My...?"

"Your shadow. You know, the bodyguard I almost never can spot and half the time can't sense, but he's always there? You know, Tetsuya-san. Where is he?"

"Oh," Byakuya said, a momentary flash of pain entering his eyes, "He is ill. He is at home."

"Hmmm, sorry to hear that," the redhead said, feeling certain he was on the right trail, "He's all right though, ne?"

"He'll be fine," Byakuya said shortly, turning back to his work.

He froze as Renji nicked the papers out from under his fingertips.

"Abarai..." he said warningly.

"Don't get pissed, here, Taichou," Renji said, holding the papers away, "It's just that your reiatsu's flaring so badly, I think you're going to start knocking out our subordinates if you don't pull back on it."

"Oh, my apologies," Byakuya said, taking a breath and forcing his burgeoning power to calm.

"Ah, that's better," Renji said, relaxing slightly, "But now, why don't you tell me what's got you so bothered today?"

"It is nothing," Byakuya said dismissively.

"Eh, I think you're trying to give me some bullshit, here," Renji countered, narrowing his eyes.

"Renji, I don't want to talk about it," the noble said stiffly.

"I can see that," Renji said, somehow maintaining his composure, even with the withering stare the noble gave him, "But even though you don't want to talk about it, I think you _need_ to _do_ something about it."

He waited for an answer, but Byakuya just continued looking back at him silently.

"You know," the redhead went on, "This really wise person I know is always telling me that if I have a problem, I owe it to my subordinates to take care of it, or at least talk it out so that I don't do something stupid out on the battlefield and let people die. So, even though you don't want to talk about whatever it is, you should do something to fix things so that nobody dies, okay?"

Byakuya had to admit that it made a tremendous amount of good sense.

"Now, it's not the best time to get you drunk and drag it out of you, so I'm gonna go out on a limb and just ask you what's wrong."

Both men were surprised at just how quickly the noble answered...and how honestly.

"I am...in love with one person," Byakuya confessed, "Very deeply in love...but...I am being forced to marry another."

"Shit..." Renji breathed, suddenly forgetting everything he had been thinking of saying, "I'm sorry, Taichou."

Byakuya didn't answer for a moment, but left his desk and walked to Renji's, where he retrieved a bottle of sake from the back of one of the drawers. He poured a measure into his teacup, then added some to Renji's. Renji watched him closely, sipping at his tea as the noble sipped at his.

"That _shadow_ you referred to is the person who I love," Byakuya went on, "a half-blood cousin who managed to escape on his own from the illegal noble's prison, Itamigiri."

Renji's mind spun, remembering Rukia telling him about the prison, especially how no one but one person she knew of had ever escaped. The brutal stories he had heard, echoed in his mind as he grappled with trying to visualize Byakuya's calm, gentle cousin ever even being in such a place, let alone escaping.

"He was half wild," Byakuya went on, "He just appeared in front of me in the pouring rain that night and threw himself at my feet. And all he asked was that I spare his life and help him to safely give birth to the child he was carrying."

"Tetsuya-san was...?"

"I couldn't even do that," Byakuya said, taking a deeper swallow of the sake-laden tea, "I brought him home and he was already so ill. The clan healer said that I had to choose the baby or him."

Gods, Taichou," Renji whispered, paling, "I had no idea..."

"He became even wilder after that. He wouldn't speak to anyone for months, both from the trauma of losing the child and the fact of having lost the child's father during his escape. I don't now what held him together, but somehow, he calmed and began to settle. I never told Tetsuya about the choice I made that night. I couldn't bear to say the words. I knew he would hate me. But even while he suffered through losing the only people who had ever been meaningful to him, he remained strong. He let Koji and me nurse him back to good health, then he attached himself to me. He said..."

Byakuya paused, finishing the rest of his tea in a long, bitter swallow.

"He said he _owed_ me for taking care of him that night," the noble said, shaking his head, "And he remained close to me, ever since. He has been with me through everything. But, as you can imagine, I feel less than deserving, having failed to really give him anything. And even though we eventually became lovers, I failed him there too. I don't know what to do, Renji. I love Tetsuya more than I have ever loved anyone. And I know that I will never fall in love with the person I have to marry. But I have no choice. To not marry the person the council chose would dishonor my parents and my grandfather. But to leave Tetsuya dishonors everything we have been to each other."

Renji observed him quietly for a few minutes, letting his words sink in and circulate. Then, he sighed and got up from the chair, nudging Byakuya to his feet as well.

"Renji?"

"Well," the redhead said, looking at him steadily, "It looks like you made your decision. It hurts like hell, but you did what you had to do, right?"

Byakuya gazed at him for a moment, then nodded briefly.

"Then, you and Tetsuya just have to tough it out and make the best of it," Renji concluded, "Hard part is, usually, you two would turn to each other for comfort, right?"

Byakuya nodded again, silently.

"Well, I can't do shit to fix a problem like that, but I think you'd do better at handling things if you go and get some sleep and let time pass."

"Renji, I am fine. I..."

"I know," Renji said, shaking his head and smiling sadly, "You can deal with it. But just do us all a favor and relax a little while you're doing that. Your reiatsu is still pretty riled. You're going to make the papers fly off our desks if you keep this up, so let me take care of you, okay?"

"Ah...very well," the noble sighed resignedly, "I am not really able to focus anyway."

"That's right," Renji said, herding him off to his quarters.

He waited as Byakuya removed all but his dressing yukata, then laid down in the bed, then brought him a fresh cup of tea.

"No sake in this one," he said, smiling, "Just some soothing herbs."

"Thank you Renji."

"No problem. That's what I'm here for."

"Renji?"

"Hmmm?"

"No one can know about Tetsuya and me. Rukia doesn't know and I don't want you to tell her."

"Ah, right," Renji acknowledged, "That's why she keeps trying to encourage him and Rikichi."

"You must not tell her," Byakuya repeated, "especially now, when I am courting another person."

"I won't say anything," Renji promised, "But I'm going to give you my opinion. Taichou, you went against your heart once before, and you and Rukia nearly died because of it. I know you think you're doing what you have to, but be careful, okay? I think that it's not going to be so easy to give up what you feel for Tetsuya-san. And trying to ignore your heart can be really destructive. Just...like I said...be careful."

"Thank you, Renji," Byakuya said softly, his mind spinning with the words as Renji quietly exited the room and closed the door.

_He is right._

_Tetsuya is the best thing that ever happened to me. He is the one who held me together and kept me from breaking apart as I was forced into the role the clan had planned for me. I owe him more than I can ever repay, and all I have ever done is hurt him. I want to think he will be better off without me, but I wonder..._

_What can I do?_


	3. Falling Apart Together

**Chapter 3: Falling Apart Together**

**(Thanks so much to everyone reading and supporting this story! The response has been great, so this one is going on the active list right away. My gratitude to Winterheart2000 (This quick enough for you?), Kittykins (I think Byakuya can't resist Tetsuya for as long as he thinks!), Shenigmatic (You've got it! Another update and more on the way!), Picklez80 (Oh, I don't think that will take too long!), TehWonderer (The subject of Breeders is a touchy one, even when one is noble, like Minori. But more about that is coming.), BunnyHopster26 (Aww, so glad you like it!), Kyuumihaira (Erm...uh...Walkure made me do it? lol, I'm so mean, I know!), Walkure (I am so glad you brought up Byakuya's parents and how they might have reacted. Someone will speak to Byakuya about that, at the right time in the story, so it will come into the spotlight.), Purple Light Snow (Yes, Byakuya has warring feelings that are slowly becoming too powerful for him to hold back. How long before he 'cracks?' Who can say...), and SunlessNights (There will be some spots of brightness, even with the sadness and there is still hope that Byakuya and Tetsuya can be happy.). Enjoy the chapter! Love, Spunky)**

Koji woke to the sound of heavy rain and felt a deep disturbance in Tetsuya's usually tranquil reiatsu. He lifted his head off the pillow, where he had fallen asleep at his master's side, and registered immediately that tears had begun to leak from his closed eyes, and although asleep, he was likely caught up in a nightmare.

_Not like your life hasn't become a living nightmare already, poor Tetsuya-san. But I am here for you. I am here, Tetsuya-san._

He let the gentle affection he felt for Tetsuya flow out from his heart and to emerge from his hands on tender green, healing light, and laying his hands on Tetsuya's sleeping form, he infused the other young man with that healing flow to soothe and comfort him as he slept. In a deep sleep, Tetsuya was wholly unaware of what was happening, but some of the torment went out of his expression and he seemed to fall into an even deeper sleep. Koji laid quietly alongside him, continuing his healing ministrations as Tetsuya began to dream.

_"Tetsuya," Naoki's voice whispered urgently in the darkness, "My love, you must come with me now!"_

_Tetsuya shivered uncomfortably and groaned as the other boy brought him awake and helped him to his feet. Naoki's cold hand touched his face, and he studied Tetsuya's fevered eyes before looking back at the guard who had come to their cell._

_"You see," Naoki whispered, "It cannot wait anymore! He is so very ill and he is starting to show. You helped Susumo to escape and I will pay your price. Please...please get Tetsuya out of here!"_

_"B-but Naoki!" Tetsuya objected, "I won't leave without you. I can't! I can't just run away and leave you here! W-won't you help us both? Whatever you want from me..."_

_The guard studied Tetsuya in the darkness and his eyes softened._

_"Don't worry," he reassured Tetsuya, "What he has offered me in exchange is enough for both of you."_

_Naoki met the man's eyes gratefully._

_"Thank you," he said softly, "I was so scared that they would discover that he had become pregnant. They would kill him!"_

_"Yes," the guard agreed, "The prison master's order is to kill all females and any Breeder males we find. I understand that they frown on the mixing of our blood...but I find the cruelty of that order unbearable."_

_"I am glad," Naoki said quietly, "but let me see to your price."_

_He started to open his yukata, prompting a sound of distress from Tetsuya. The younger boy started to object, but was quieted instantly by Naoki's hand covering his mouth._

_"If I give him just this, he will help us escape, love. Please, turn away. I would rather that you didn't see."_

_"Naoki, no!"_

_Naoki's arms wrapped around his young lover and his gentle brown eyes gazed into Tetsuya's more riled blue ones._

_"Tetsuya, we must escape now. And this man is risking himself on our behalf. We have nothing else to offer him, so we must allow this. Please, Tetsuya, turn away."_

_A soft rumble of thunder sounded as Tetsuya's eyes locked on his lover's in the darkness of their cell._

_"This is for our freedom, Tetsuya...for our child. Please..." Naoki whispered._

_"Then...let me be the one," Tetsuya whispered back, tears coming to his eyes, "I cannot watch him do that to you!"_

_"I could take him to another cell," the guard offered, "But we need to act now. We do not have long before the shift change."_

_Naoki's eyes hardened and he placed his hands firmly on Tetsuya's trembling shoulders. He turned the younger boy away and kissed him on the cheek._

_"It will be all right, Tetsuya. Close your eyes and dream of our home and our child. That is what we will have after tonight."_

_"Naoki..."_

_Tetsuya froze as the guard's hand touched his shoulder from behind and a throb of kido dropped him into Naoki's arms. Naoki kissed him again on the forehead and laid him gently on the floor of the cell, then removed his yukata and laid it over the younger boy._

_"Thank you for sparing him," Naoki said softly, his breath misting in the chill air, "He is ill and not thinking straight. He needs to get out of here, but he doesn't understand what I do about things."_

_"Very well," the guard said solemnly, opening his clothing and backing Naoki into a dark corner of the cell, "Now then...your payment."_

_Naoki lowered himself onto his knees, submitting quietly as the guard took his pleasure, neither noticing that Tetsuya's eyes remained open, although he could not move. His stomach roiled and anger swelled inside at watching his lover feed the guard's passion. And even as powerless and frozen as he was, his breaking heart made the air in the cell even colder. And around the three, a few raindrops began to fall. The guard flinched and looked around nervously as one of them touched him, but his mind quickly wrote it off as just condensation falling from the rock ceiling, as sometimes happened. He looked down at Naoki, who remained kneeling in front of him, a guilty, sickened look on his pale face, and nodded briefly._

_"That will do, boy. Come with me, and bring him."_

_Naoki silently retrieved his yukata, then lifted Tetsuya's slender, limp body and carried him out of the cell. They slipped into a hidden passageway and passed through a maze of twists and turns that took them out of the prison and opened onto a small, tree-shrouded hill._

_"Just stay in the trees and follow that path," the guard told Naoki, "As long as you are not spotted, you will be able to reach the Rukongai."_

_"Th-thank you," Naoki said, bowing his head, "Thank you for giving us hope."_

_"Here," the guard said, touching Naoki's wrist, then Tetsuya's, "If you should get into trouble, at least you will have whatever powers you have to fight with."_

_Naoki watched wordlessly as the guard disappeared back into the prison and he was left alone with his lover in his arms. He turned and made his way through the trees, shivering in the cold, and looking up through the trees at the cloudy skies. After a time, Tetsuya stirred in his arms and Naoki set the other boy on his feet and kissed him gently on the mouth._

_"We are almost there," he whispered, "We just have to..."_

_His words were interrupted suddenly by the rising wail of the prison alarms in the distance. Naoki's brown eyes rounded and he grabbed Tetsuya's hand and pulled him into a motion._

_"Run!" he hissed._

_His head still fogged from the kido jolt, Tetsuya's legs shook under him as he ran alongside the other boy. They raced through the trees, their icy, bare feet soundless as they fled along the muddy trail. Soft rain began to fall again as voices rose up in the distance behind the two. They reached a small cliff and slid to a stop, caught between the approaching guards and the drop off that fell into a deep, riled river. Naoki looked from the men breaking through the trees to Tetsuya's blanched face and made a painful decision. He turned suddenly, wrapping his arms around Tetsuya and throwing them off the cliff together, his voice sounding in Tetsuya's ear as they fell._

_"Aishiteru yo, Tetsuya!" Naoki sobbed._

_"Naoki!" Tetsuya screamed._

_They crashed into the torrent and were torn apart from each other. Tetsuya opened his mouth to scream, but found it filled with water, He was dragged down and thrown about, tumbled over and then carried swiftly away from his pursuers. He thought that he could still feel the gentle presence of Naoki's faint reiatsu, and he clawed at the bottom of the river, dragging himself towards it. He caught hold of another person and held on tightly as the current threw them against a boulder, making Tetsuya scream in pain as he absorbed the shock. He held onto Naoki and scrabbled about in the water until his nearly numb feet found purchase. He crawled onto the shore and found that the skies had opened into a downpour. Dragging Naoki onto the shore, he leaned over the older boy and touched his face gently._

_"N-naoki!" he whispered._

_Tears filled his eyes as he withdrew his hand from under the other boy's head and caught the sight and scent of blood._

_"Naoki!" he cried, shaking the other boy, "Naoki!"_

_Naoki's eyes opened for a moment, and looked up at the sadly lovely sight of Tetsuya set against where the moon peeked through the stormy clouds. He laid a trembling hand on Tetsuya's slightly enlarged belly and smiled._

_"Keep our baby safe, always, Tetsuya. He is our dream. Aishiteru yo."_

_"Aishiteru yo," Tetsuya whispered back tremulously._

_"I am sorry," Naoki whispered, "I wish I hadn't had to...to do that, but..."_

_"You freed us."_

_"Please, Tetsuya. Please forgive me."_

_"Naoki, there is nothing to forgive. I understand!"_

_Naoki nodded briefly and his eyes flickered oddly in the rain misted moonlight._

_"It was my duty...t-to protect and honor our family."_

_"And now we are free," Tetsuya said, kissing his lips again, "Come, it isn't far now."_

_He started to rise, but stopped at the feel of Naoki's hand on his._

_"I am sorry, Tetsuya. I can go no farther."_

_Tetsuya's eyes widened as Naoki's eyes fluttered and closed, then soft light rose around him and his body glowed brightly, before slowly fading into nothing. Tetsuya fell forward, collapsing onto the place where his lover had been and sobbing uncontrollably as the rain poured down all around him. He sucked in a sharp, frightened breath as voices sounded on the far shore, then came to his feet and broke into a run, tearing away from the edge of the water, dodging a hail of kido fire. The rain pounded down harder and thunder cracked across the sky as flash steps sounded more closely and Tetsuya felt the pursuit closing in. He brushed the wet hairs out of his eyes, pushing his weary, thin body to its limits as more kido struck the ground all around him, and finally a heavy blast took him off his feet._

_Tetsuya rolled over instantly and started again to run. Lightning flashed, and the shape of another young man appeared before him. Gray eyes found his and Tetsuya prayed with all of his heart it wasn't the end. He threw himself at the young man's feet, panting and shaking all over._

_More kido fire sounded and Tetsuya felt the hard flare of strong reiatsu rising around the other young man and him. The other voices stopped for a moment and Tetsuya looked up into the serious gray eyes of the other boy again._

_"Please!" he gasped, "Don't let them hurt my baby! I will do...anything, young master! Anything you ask! Only don't let them hurt us!"_

_He closed his eyes, weariness and fear finally rendering him helpless at the young man's feet._

_"Do not touch this boy," a quiet, warning voice said, "I have scanned his reiatsu and he is of my clan. He belongs to me now."_

_Tetsuya opened his eyes and watched as the guards started to back away, then found themselves suddenly surrounded in a swell of pink petal blades._

_"Do not move," the gray-eyed boy ordered them, "You are under arrest for the illegal and immoral act of imprisoning innocent people. You will cooperate and assist us in shutting down that prison, or you will die."_

_The young man stared in surprise as in one movement, each of Tetsuya's attackers touched a marking on his arm and disappeared._

_"Damn! I was hoping that they would lead us back to..."_

_He paused and looked down at Tetsuya, who had lifted himself onto his hands and knees._

_"Thank you," the boy said softly, "I am forever indebted to you. But please...it...it hurts inside! Please don't let anything happen to this baby. This is all I have left of my Naoki. I would rather die than to lose him!"_

_Tetsuya tried to stand, but felt the weight of all that had happened drag him down again. His head swam dangerously and his legs gave way. Strong arms captured him and lifted him carefully._

_"Don't worry. You are safe now."_

_He fell into the blackness again, but even so, felt the safety of being encircled by those strong, protective arms._

_"What is your name?"_

_"Tetsuya. Kuchiki Tetsuya."_

_"I am Byakuya, heir of the Kuchiki clan. You are under my protection now, Tetsuya."_

_"Thank you. Thank you...Byakuya-sama."_

Tetsuya woke in the early morning darkness and found Koji sleeping soundly beside him. He listened to the sound of the rain falling outside and breathed slowly to calm his pounding heart.

_I hadn't thought about that for a while now. Though I have never forgotten that lost dream, I thought I had begun to dream again. And indeed, loving Byakuya-sama was a beautiful dream. But it is over now. And I haven't the heart to begin again. And even if I wanted to..._

His mind drifted back to the days following his arrival at Kuchiki Manor...the haze that had come and gone, the delirium of fever, and the devastating words that had drifted down into his barely lucid mind and broken him again inside.

_"I am sorry, Kuchiki-sama. I have done all that I can do, but he is so weak with illness. The baby needs to wait longer for the reiatsu to mature fully, but his body cannot bear anymore. He is already so worn down from what they did to him that I do not think he will be able to ever bear another child, nor even this. Kuchiki-sama, if you want the boy to live, then we must force the reiatsu to dissipate. It will be absorbed back into his body and the pressure on his systems will be relieved. If it continues, he must be made unconscious to have a chance of the baby coming through. And I can guarantee you he will not survive the birthing. He is simply too weak."_

_"You are saying I must choose between them?" _

_"Yes. I am sorry. You must decide which is to be saved."_

_There was a long pause, and Tetsuya waited breathlessly for the final touch of kido that would make his mind disappear. He thought of Naoki and wondered if it was as he had said...that their souls would meet again in other lives, or if they would simply cease to exist. He felt the gentle promise of their continuance in the reiatsu that resonated in his belly and would have smiled if he could move._

_~This much of our love will live on. I am content.~_

_He felt a soft stinging in his arm and his mind started to fade away, so he focused on Naoki and willed his soul to follow his lover's into death. For a time, there was only a deep grayness all around him. There was no light, no breath, no sensation of any kind, and Tetsuya wondered if he even still existed. His mind felt a shock pass through it as the air around him seemed to lighten and he emerged again from the darkness and found himself in his bed at Kuchiki Manor. The healer was gone and Byakuya sat quietly at his side, holding one slender, pale hand in his. Tetsuya looked up questioningly into the Kuchiki heir's worried eyes, then reached his other hand down to touch the place where the baby's reiatsu had been, but he found only emptiness there. Tears flooded his eyes suddenly, and he tore free of Byakuya's hand, throwing himself onto his feet and breaking into a run._

_"Tetsuya!" Byakuya called after him, "Tetsuya, where are you going! You are not well enough yet! Tetsuya!"_

_He ran aimlessly, his weak legs giving way and making him fall every few steps, until finally Byakuya's arms wrapped around him and brought him down onto his knees._

_"Stop," the heir panted in his ear, "You are not well enough. You must go back to bed. I am sorry you lost your child. I am so sorry. But...he could not be saved."_

_He knew the other boy was lying and couldn't make sense of why. But neither would the words come for him. Only one repeated from his stunned lips._

_"Why?" he screamed, "WHY?"_

_"You were too ill and the baby could not be saved," Byakuya repeated, holding him more tightly._

_"Why...why?" Tetsuya pleaded, collapsing against the Kuchiki heir and repeating the word until he lost consciousness again._

_~Why, Byakuya-sama? Why did you...lie to me? You could have saved him and you chose to save me instead, even though I told you from the start that I would rather die than lose him. Why, Byakuya-sama? Why did you choose me, then? Why?~_

"Why?" Tetsuya whispered, looking up at the ceiling and listening to the rain fall, "Why did you save me, only to have me die inside now? At least one dream could have survived, but now both are gone. Why?"

Tetsuya felt sickness rising inside him again and retreated carefully from the bed, so as not to wake his attendant. He let the feeling have its way with him, then dressed quickly and fled the room, moving out into the early morning darkness and flash stepping away to make his morning rounds. When they were finished, he walked slowly back through the gardens and looked in to where breakfast had been laid out on the table, and Rukia sat alone, waiting.

"Will Byakuya be joining Tetsuya and me?" she asked Torio.

"No, Rukia-chan," the attendant answered, "He messaged from the sixth division that he would not be back until this afternoon when Minori-sama is to meet him for the evening meal."

Tetsuya's eyes darkened, and he quickly shifted into a nearly invisible waterform as Rukia's eyes looked out at where he had been.

"Where is Tetsuya-san?" she asked.

"I-I am not sure," Torio answered softly, "Koji said that he was not in his room this morning, and no one seems to know where he has gone."

Tetsuya flash stepped away, following the forest trail to the waterfall, then flash stepping down a set of jutting rocks and onto an almost invisible trail that led back behind the falls. He slipped into the hidden cave that he and the Kuchiki heir had frequented, and knelt at the edge of the hot spring within, letting the steamy water warm his rain dampened skin. He stared blankly into the bubbling surface and lost sense of time. Minutes might have passed, or hours, or even days, before finally, familiar footsteps sounded, and he looked up to find Byakuya standing near him and watching him silently.

"I am sorry that I missed you this morning," Byakuya said, noting he had seemed to come back to himself, "Things were busy..."

"Of course," Tetsuya answered, accepting the lie easily, "I understand. I suppose Minori-sama will be arriving soon. I imagine you want me to watch over the proceeding personally?"

The long silence that followed chilled him inside.

"That is not necessary," Byakuya said calmly, "I don't want this to be more painful than it has to be. Normal house forces will attend us."

Tetsuya let out a short, hard breath and looked back into the riled water, his heart burning in his chest and his head swimming at the words.

"As you wish."

Even the heated water couldn't warm him after that. He walked slowly back to the manor, breathing in the scent of the wet forest and letting the rain soak him to the skin. He reached the back gate and let his body fade into a waterform to avoid alarming anyone with his odd behavior. He spotted Byakuya and Minori slow dancing under a canopy that had been set up for the small, intimate dinner for the heads of their households and the ones chosen to be in the bridal party. He could read from Byakuya's posture that he was, of course, observing every facet of proper behavior, from the slight distance between them to the positioning of his hands and even the carefully schooled expression he wore.

They turned, and Minori's lovely, pale face came into view. And Tetsuya couldn't deny that the younger man was beautiful, and that, as clan leader, Byakuya was entitled to have such a lovely young man as his spouse. He tried then to see the differences between them, the reasons why the clans accepted one pale, dark haired beauty and not the other. Blood wasn't something that could be seen on the skin, but it was like they could sense it. And it was powerful enough that it could break apart even true love for the sake of supporting this scripted imitation.

Tetsuya's eyes burned inwardly and he felt the rain around him thicken. He moved closer, wanting to scream and tear the two apart to knock some sense into them. It wasn't right. Neither Byakuya not Minori wanted this marriage. He could see it, even through their carefully controlled expressions. He could see Minori's smile quiver now and again, and the sadness beneath the surface. He couldn't bring himself to hate them, but he fiercely hated what they were doing. It spat in the face of truth, of honesty, of all of the things he had thought that nobility should stand for.

_It's all a bunch of lies. They pretend that everything is fine, but it isn't fine for them, any more than it is for me. Their hearts are breaking just as audibly. They have to carry on this farce for kami knows how long! At very least, I have been left with my dignity. I am a mere servant, but I don't have to lie for anyone anymore. I did that to protect him, but I don't have to now. I suppose I should be grateful for that. I suppose I should be..._

Tetsuya's sharp senses interrupted the path of his mind, registering movement, just outside the canopied area. A dark, hooded form, erupted from the bushes, screaming two words that made Tetsuya move without even thinking.

"_FILTHY BREEDER_!"

He threw himself in front of Minori, forcing the young man to the ground as kido erupted from the attacker's hands and struck Tetsuya instead. He felt a heavy jolt pass through his shocked body and felt Byakuya's stunned eyes meet his. Then everything went dark and quiet, disappearing as Minori's gentle voice sounded near him.

"Tetsuya-san, why? Why did you...protect me?"

_He...he knows?_


	4. Behind Your Eyes

**Chapter 4: Behind Your Eyes**

**(Thanks so much to Periwinkle (Yeah, I get that a lot! lol), Picklez80 (Well, here's more, but just so you're warned, I do love cliffies.), Anon (Because that's how I roll...), SunlessNights (I am enjoying this too, but getting tired of dodging petal and ice blades!), Purple Light Snow (Ah, there is more about Minori in this chapter, so you will get a sense of his motivations), Henka-chan (Thanks so much!), NamineLily (I'm not sayin' a thing! Just smiling at my ingenuity...), Shenigmatic (Well, here's another dose to keep you going!), and Kyuumihaira (Ah, read without fear. You will see...) Enjoy the chapter. Spunky's goin' back to sleep for a few hours. Sheesh! Couldn't leave Tetsuya hanging like that, right?)**

"_FILTHY BREEDER!_"

Minori froze, an icy feeling flooding his young chest at the hateful sound of the words. Almost on top of them, he heard and sensed a blistering flash step, then felt strong arms take hold of him and tear him from Byakuya's grasp. His head turned and he found himself looking into twin pools of sapphire blue, reading the young man's intent and relaxing in his embrace. A moment later, two kido blasts struck his rescuer's extended body, one after another in quick succession. The other man's body tumbled away, crashing to the ground near him as return kido fire from the falling guard's hands dropped the attacker instantly.

"Tetsuya!" Minori heard the Kuchiki clan leader breathe in a stricken voice, "Get the healers!"

Minori scrambled to his hands and knees, throwing off his attendants' hands and leaning over the fallen head of Kuchiki house security.

"Tetsuya-san," he whispered, closing his eyes for a moment and invoking his innate healing power.

In a flash, he read the damage and directed his healing power, only barely cognizant of the chaotic scene around them.

"What is this?" Minori heard his father roar, "What is the meaning of this? Letting your security become so lax! This is unforgivable! Minori, are you all right?"

"I am fine," Minori assured him quickly, "But we need to act quickly to stabilize him."

"Let _them_ stabilize him!" his father said angrily, "_He _is their head of security and responsible for this!"

"Tetsuya-san is the reason I am _alive_ right now," Minori snapped furiously, "I was not shielding myself at all. He shielded me and absorbed the attack, himself. I would have been killed if he hadn't intervened."

"You wouldn't have been at risk at all and that _beast_ wouldn't have been able to attack you if he had done his job properly. Now, come away. We are going home. We will conduct any further interactions under the protection of our own security forces. Obviously, the forces here are less than capable."

Minori tightened his lips and ignored the order, helping Byakuya to turn the injured noble onto his back, then leaning over him and laying his hands on Tetsuya's bloodied shoulder and chest.

"Minori!"

"I won't allow you to blame him!" the young man insisted, defiantly, continuing the healing as Byakuya knelt beside him, "Can you administer a pain block, Byakuya-sama?"

"Yes," the Kuchiki heir said, adding his healing power to the region.

Minori focused deeply, loosing his reiatsu into Tetsuya's unconscious form and making himself as one with the other. It took a moment for the connection to form, then he felt the surprised touch of Tetsuya's mind on his.

_Our family excels in healing, _he assured Tetsuya quickly, _Relax completely and trust me. I will repair the damage, Tetsuya-san._

He felt a shiver of indecision and a weightiness of mind that hinted at intense emotional pain.

_Why are you helping me?_

Minori smiled inwardly.

_Why did you help me? We are both acting on our instincts, Tetsuya-san. Let go. Let me heal you. Please trust me. Sleep._

He felt Tetsuya hesitate for another long moment, then his body relaxed completely and he relinquished control. Minori quickly used his reiatsu to stabilize Tetsuya's, then harmonized their energies and flooded the damaged areas with carefully directed bursts of healing power. He slowly knitted together the places where several bones had been broken, then mended the muscles and flesh, working from within the very cells of his body and causing them to restore themselves. Within several minutes, the visible damage to Tetsuya's body was gone, and his breathing and heartbeat had fallen into a steady, normal rhythm.

"Is he going to be all right?" Byakuya asked quietly.

"He will be sore in the areas that were damaged," Minori answered, "and he will be unconscious for a while. He should have complete rest for a few days, but yes, Tetsuya-san will be all right."

He finished the healing and scanned the young man's body to make sure that he had addressed everything. He went quiet and still, careful not to react as something odd registered in his mind. He knew better than to let anyone see, and acted swiftly to conceal what he had found, keeping his thoughts to himself as he finished the last of the healing.

_There is nothing to be gained by revealing this._

_If I tell Byakuya-sama, he will be obligated to reveal it._

_If I tell Tetsuya-san, he will run. It will be his only option. And as soon as he does, he will be hunted._

_If my family learns of this, they will blame Byakuya-sama, and our clans will go to war._

_And if the Kuchiki elders learn of it, they will have Tetsuya-san killed for dishonoring their leader, and because they know that once a Breeder is bonded with a soul, they are the only ones who can make a child with that soul...until the soul or the Breeder dies._

_I do not want Tetsuya-san to die._

_I cannot tell anyone about this!_

_But what can I do? It will become obvious as he progresses. But...but this will give us time...just a few months time. I will think of something...some way. I must._

"He should be stable enough to move now," Minori sighed, slowly withdrawing his reiatsu and watching closely to make sure that Tetsuya's systems worked under his own control.

"Thank you, Minori," Byakuya said, meeting his fiancé's eyes meaningfully.

"I am grateful to your cousin," Minori said softly, "He is truly a courageous person. I know that he would never have been lax in his duties. This person who attacked me was formidable to get past Tetsuya-san's careful protections."

He opened his eyes and met his father's.

"We will be glad to continue our visits to Kuchiki Manor."

His father's eyes blazed and he looked ready to object, but stopped short of speaking it.

"We should go, segare," he said more quietly, "I am sure that the Kuchiki security forces will want to conduct a full investigation."

"And I will want to make myself available to confer with them, and with Tetsuya-san's healers here," Minori answered.

He looked up at Byakuya questioningly.

"Can you provide rooms for my attendants and for me here?" he asked, earning a glare from his father.

"Of course," Byakuya answered, nodding, "And for any others your father wishes to have remain."

The elder Aomori stiffened, but nodded in forced acquiescence.

"We will all remain for the night."

"Very well," Byakuya agreed, "I will have rooms prepared for you."

XXXXXXXXXX

Minori waited until the manor's lights had been turned down and it seemed as though everyone was asleep, then he slipped out of his room and made his way to where he had seen Tetsuya carried after the chaos in the gardens. He was unsurprised at finding Byakuya sitting quietly at his injured cousin's side as Koji leaned over Tetsuya and gently infused him with healing reiatsu before inquiring if Byakuya needed anything, then reluctantly exiting the room. The Aomori heir sat down next to his pensive fiance, regarding him out of the corner of one lovely, jade-colored eye, then breaking the silence.

"He looks quite comfortable now," he commented softly.

Byakuya sighed.

You know that you should not be here without your escorts in attendance," he commented, not unkindly, "We would like to avoid any more trouble."

"Don't worry," Minori reassured him, "My father and our entourage are sleeping. I waited to be sure. I wouldn't have come, but I was relatively certain that you would be here and I wanted to speak to you privately."

"About?"

"It was just an impression I had," Minori explained, pausing to think for a moment, "Something that occurred to me as everything was unfolding this evening."

Byakuya's head turned slightly and he fixed one curious gray eye on the younger man.

"You explained Tetsuya-san's power to me. And knowing that he wields waterforms and can move between them, I wonder why he did not invoke that power this time."

"He probably did try," Byakuya said, his eyes drifting to look at his cousin for a moment, "But although Tetsuya can move between waterforms to avoid damage, and can even carry another person between waterforms, if he is hit more than once before being able to perform the shift, then he will take damage and can lose control and the rescue forms can shatter. He was hit twice, very close together, this time."

"Ah, I see. It is a relief to know that it was something like that and not...something more troubling."

"Such as...?"

"I have yet to fall in love with anyone...and at this point, I do not know if I will ever experience that emotion wholeheartedly. But...just because I have never known it, myself, doesn't mean that I don't recognize it when I see it."

"What are you saying? I have already told you that Tetsuya and I were..."

"_Are_, Byakuya," Minori corrected him gently, "You _are_ in love. Whether you resist or not, isn't the question. That emotion is there, in great supply. I am not complaining. What I am trying to say is that it makes me wish that I could know such a feeling one day. I do not know under what circumstances that would be, but it is something I still hope for."

"Well," Byakuya said solemnly, "As much as you are curious, you should be wary. Love is a beautiful thing, but it has also proven to be hazardous."

"Still, it does inspire."

Minori gazed down at Tetsuya's calmer, sleeping face, smiling nostalgically.

"When that man shouted at me, and I knew that I was about to be attacked, I was so stunned that I could not move."

"I am sorry you were threatened. That should not have happened."

"It's all right. I don't blame you or your house staff, and especially not Tetsuya-san."

Byakuya looked at him silently and waited for him to go on.

"There was such a strange, profound moment, when I heard Tetsuya-san's flash step and I felt his arms take hold of me. I looked into his eyes, Byakuya-sama...eyes that should have hated me."

"Minori..."

"But...there was no hatred. There was no jealousy...no anger...no fear. There was only courage and such determination. And I knew in that moment, that I could completely trust him. And something else I discovered. I know now why you love Tetsuya-san. Tetsuya-san treasures and protects the innocent, the ones in need of strength like his."

"Yes," Byakuya agreed, "Tetsuya's innocence was stolen from him, and because of that, he unfailingly protects that in others."

"He does. And, coming to this realization, I also know...that if my heart was ever to know love, I would want to love a soul like his...caring, kind, selfless and brave. And I would never want to cause that person pain. Not ever."

Byakuya sighed and closed his eyes.

"But sometimes, we are forced to make choices that cause pain to those who do not deserve it."

"I agree," said the younger man, his head bowing in thought, "But, with deepest respect, I think that maybe you have left something out of your considerations."

Byakuya gazed at him wordlessly.

"You confessed to me that you chose to accept the elders' decision because of a promise you made to your parents."

"Yes."

"I gave that some thought, after you told it to me, and it occurred to me that Tetsuya-san actually reminded me of what I had heard of your late father, Kuchiki Soujun."

Byakuya's lips stiffened slightly, but he showed no other sign of a response.

"Soujun-sama was another whom one would have been able to trust. He was a kind, thoughtful person...one who was well-liked by those who knew him. As I have heard it, he had not an enemy in the world, but for the hollows that eventually ended his life. It was, to all accounts, a life well-lived. And from that impression that I have, based upon others' memories of him, I would ask you, in the most respectful way...Are you sure that the promise you made to him and to your mother was one that they would have wanted you to make?"

"My father was well acquainted with the sacrifices that one must make when one is heir to leadership," Byakuya said stiffly.

"Ah," Minori said, treading carefully, "I understand. But...what do you think of his decision? Do you not just accept it, because you understand the desire to bring honor to your family, but still regret it because it caused you to lose him?"

Byakuya felt the warning heat of threatening tears at the corners of his eyes, but blinked them back stubbornly and remained silent.

"And wouldn't it pain him to know that you have found an honorable person, who is very worthy of your love, but you must deny that call of your heart to serve your family? It is just my humble impression. But I wonder if your parents' love for you is truly honored when you deny your heart, or if your clan is really being served when your heart is so very troubled, Byakuya."

"I told you before," Byakuya said with forced calm, "This is for the best. And I will try to be a good husband to you. I cannot love you, as my heart belongs to Tetsuya alone. But I will not be cruel to you, nor will I deny you anything that a husband is entitled to. I do want you to be content, and I hope to find contentment with you."

He bit his lip gently and looked down at Tetsuya.

"Are you saying that you think I should send him away?" he asked softly.

Minori smiled sadly and slipped a hand into his.

"Byakuya, I may be young, but I am not so naive as to think that such a thing would quell the chaos in your hearts. I think that no matter how far away you would send Tetsuya-san, your hearts would still love each other and long for each other just as much."

"Perhaps. But we would not be tempted by each other every day."

"But you would be sad without him, though you would hide that sadness inside yourself, and deny it to everyone."

"So, what do you want me to do?"

"I do not know what you should do. But I can tell you this. My healing power is one that uses a forged connection between me and whoever I heal. To heal Tetsuya-san, I connected with his soul and affected it briefly. Tetsuya-san trusted me enough to relinquish control so that I could cause his body to be healed. And while in contact with him, I felt the weight of what he carries in his heart. Tetsuya-san is in unspeakable agony, Byakuya. I could heal his body, but I do not know what can heal his heart. If I could call off our wedding, I would do so, but you and I both know there is tremendous harm that would come of that. We don't want our clans to go to war, so it seems we must move forward. But it isn't right to leave Tetsuya-san in such pain.

"So, what are you suggesting? If our wedding must move forward, and..."

"I could turn a blind eye to..."

"No. I won't dishonor you that way. Even if it wasn't discovered and a war begun because of it, there can only be pain in living a lie."

"But," Minori said wistfully, "Isn't that exactly what you and Tetsuya-san have been doing, up until now?"

"Minori..." Byakuya said, shifting uncomfortably.

"Haven't you been lying to yourselves, calling what you were doing, 'loving each other?' You told me that you have always loved and respected Tetsuya-san, that you have always honored him, and he has done the same for you. But, is that really what you were doing in accepting Tetsuya-san's love, when you could not return it properly? Was it honoring love to tease him with your deepest affections, when you had no intention of ever offering him your hand?"

He paused, reading the beginnings of a cracking in his fiancé's outward calm.

"I am sorry," he said quickly, "I shouldn't have..."

"No," Byakuya said softly, "You are right. I had no right to ever accept Tetsuya's love."

Minori smiled sadly.

"But like me, you saw the beautiful things about him and you were overcome."

"And once I crossed that line between us," Byakuya said softly, "there was no going back. Once our passions ignited, there was no putting out that flame. And so now, we are being burned by it...all of us. If I could take it back..."

"You wouldn't," Minori said, shaking his head, "Tetsuya-san's heart is like the ocean, Byakuya. Once in its thrall, you can only drown in it and still love it for its beauty as it drowns you. You will never escape it. Even if he has to love you from a distance, he will love you for all of his life, and he will not regret doing so. Such a heart must be carefully managed. It is wild and terribly powerful, yet dangerously vulnerable also. We must all tread carefully."

"Yes," Byakuya agreed, everything depends on that."

The two went silent for a moment as Tetsuya made a soft sound of discomfort and shifted in his sleep, then his eyes opened slowly and struggled to focus. He looked up at Byakuya and Minori, for one moment, registering pain, then carefully containing it.

"M-minori-sama," he said softly, "I am sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry for," Minori assured him, "I am grateful to you for saving me."

"But your father was right. Had I seen to my responsibilities with greater care, you would not have been threatened. I promise you. I will not let such a thing happen again."

Minori smiled sadly.

"I trust I will be safe here," he answered, "Now, you must rest."

"I am glad that you are going to be all right, Cousin," Byakuya said, meeting his eyes for a moment, and instantly regretting it, "I would stay, but..."

"It is late," Tetsuya acknowledged quickly, "You shouldn't have worried so. I am all right. Please, Byakuya-sama, you should not neglect yourself."

Byakuya nodded briefly and rose. Minori started to follow, but took a surprised breath as Tetsuya's hand touched his arm, gently.

"Minori-sama, may I speak with you privately for a moment?"

Minori looked from Byakuya to Tetsuya and back again.

"Of course, Tetsuya-san," he said, sitting back down.

"I will wish you a good evening then," Byakuya said, exiting the room.

Minori waited until they were alone and all had gone silent around them, then he looked into Tetsuya's sapphire eyes questioningly.

"What is it that you wanted to speak about, Tetsuya-san?" he asked softly.

"I will not keep you long," Tetsuya whispered, closing his eyes for a moment, then opening them and fixing them on Minori again, "It is just that, I was trying to understand...Minori-sama, you know about Byakuya-sama and me, don't you?"

"Yes," Minori acknowledged carefully.

"If that is so, then why, Minori-sama? Why didn't you let me die for you?"


	5. Dangerous Passions

**Chapter 5: Dangerous Passions**

"Why did I not let you die for me?" Minori repeated, gazing down into Tetsuya's tormented eyes and frowning as he tried to make sense of the question, "Tetsuya-san, the truth is, I was no more in control of my choice than you were in control of yours. When danger threatened, you didn't stop to think about who it was that needed saving. You acted on instinct. You saw a life about to be taken in an act of violence and hatred, and you put your life at risk to stop it. And when you fell at my feet and you were in danger of dying, my instinct as a healer was to stop it. All that happened in those moments was that we forgot everything but our instincts. And what became evident was that, despite our differences, we are much alike in what we value."

"But, that is not what I mean," Tetsuya sighed, lowering his eyes, "You know that Byakuya-sama loves me, and that as long as I am alive, he will torment himself with guilt for having lowered himself to return my affections in the first place. But in that one moment, our fates allowed a way for us to end that torment in honesty."

"Tetsuya-san..."

"I saw what was happening and reacted honestly. I was willing to sacrifice myself to protect you and I offered myself without hesitation. And you could have let it end there. There would have been no time for the clan healers to be summoned and still to save my life. Had you accepted what happened, I could have died with my honor intact and you and Byakuya-sama would no longer have that ghost of his past between you."

"Tetsuya-san," Minori said, shaking his head gently, "Do you not understand? A noble soul threw himself between death and me, offered to die in my stead without having any reason to do so, and in fact, having reason _not_ to intervene. Just as you are, at your core, a noble and courageous soul, I am a healer, and one whose life had just been protected by you. Like you, I did what was natural to me, and I saved your life. In dangerous moments, I think we shed our personal agendas and let our true nature show without thinking. I looked into your eyes as we fell together, Tetsuya-san and I saw what a lovely and noble person you are."

"You keep using that word to describe me," Tetsuya mused, looking down at his hands, "I am not noble, nor anything like it. If I was, then Byakuya-sama wouldn't just have 'not left me,' he would only have ever been with me in honesty. It torments me to think that he only saw me as his plaything and worse, I played that role willingly...just desperate to have any piece of his love. But it wasn't love at all, was it? If it was, then he wouldn't have walked away so easily. He wouldn't have just given up. We were fools, calling something like that _love_. I try to understand, Minori-sama. I tell myself that after having defied the elders to marry Hisana-sama, he was not able to bring himself to defy them again, breaking his vow of obedience. But I was at his side all along. And if it was just that I was half peasant that was stopping him from pursuing me back then, he never would have married her, a full commoner. He would have chosen me then. The fires between us only ignited after he lost her. And just so stunned and grateful to have him turn to me when his heart was broken, I gave in easily. I loved him as friend's love, but it was easy for me to be pulled in deeper. And once I surrendered to him sexually, we were beyond the point of no return. It was as though we hadn't really been seeing each other before. And once we did, we fell helplessly in..."

Tetsuya trailed off, a tear sliding down one porcelain cheek.

"But it wasn't love, was it? It was only reckless passion having its way with us."

"I think Byakuya has always loved you," Minori said, capturing Tetsuya's hand and brushing away his tears, "And I do not believe for a moment that he is easily walking away from you, Tetsuya-san."

"But...?"

"Just as I looked into your eyes as you offered your life to protect mine, I looked into his eyes when he realized that you were dying. In that moment, Byakuya was not thinking about how it would look for him to react strongly, what anyone's reaction would be, or how he should behave properly. He was desperate to save your life."

Tetsuya smiled sadly.

"But that was not because of love. That was likely because we grew up together after my escape from the prison. We were like brothers before we were lovers. He was responding to that, I suppose. And anyway, he never could stomach the idea of me dying. Even when he barely knew me, he chose my life over the life of the child I was carrying. He knew I would have wanted my child to live, but he..."

"He acted on instinct, Tetsuya-san," Minori said firmly, "And his instinct was to save you. And even though you barely knew each other, Byakuya had already begun a long, slow fall for you."

"But he wasn't in love with me," Tetsuya objected.

"Oh no, not then," Minori agreed, "but even not yet being in love with you, he felt the hands of fate moving around you. And wouldn't you agree, Tetsuya-san, that the greatest of lovers begin as good friends and that love is something that develops slowly and is meant to be savored. You and Byakuya are passionate souls. The flame began slowly, but built into a beautiful inferno."

"And we were all burned by it," Tetsuya concluded sadly, "Byakuya-sama, you and me. Don't you see that if Byakuya-sama had only remained my friend, I would have been happy for him being married to someone like you, Minori-sama. You and I would have been friends and there wouldn't have been such pain..."

"Are we not friends now, Tetsuya-san?" Minori asked, squeezing his hand, "You did, after all, save my life. And being that I have been given into a marriage of duty, not love, and moved into a strange environment, I can very much use your friendship."

"But why would you want to be friends with me?" Tetsuya asked, frowning in confusion, "I am in love with your husband to be."

"And I am not," Minori sighed, "I do not see you as a rival, Tetsuya-san, but as an example...of love, of nobility, of strength and grace. You accept such terrible pain because you love Byakuya-sama fiercely. And since I will never know love, at least I will witness it. I would like to be close to you and to offer you what comfort I can, even as I am forced to break apart a love that I would much rather save. But even as we take these steps, Tetsuya-san, let us remain hopeful. After all, we do not know what the future will bring. Perhaps there is hope yet for you and Byakuya-sama."

"But how could that be?" Tetsuya said, shaking his head and lowering his eyes again, "You are getting married. And even if something happens and you don't...I...I don't think I could ever give in to him like that again...not knowing he would walk away like that. I couldn't bear to do this all again!"

Minori gave him a knowing look that made him pause and catch his breath in surprise.

"Tetsuya-san," he said skeptically, "You knew that he would walk away all along. You admitted that. But your passion for Byakuya-sama was not something you could control. You say that you made the wrong choice, but what really happened was that the touching off of the fires between you was so strong, it made you act on your instincts. His instincts are to love and protect you and yours are the same for him. That is a force to be reckoned with...and I think that it is not so easy for you two to separate, even though you try. True love has a determination that can defy fate. Move forward. Let your heart heal from this, Tetsuya-san. But do not become hopeless."

"I suppose you are right," Tetsuya sighed wearily, "Byakuya-sama and I were friends before. An even having turned away from loving me, he still needs my friendship. That is something. It is a place and it has value. I will try to let it be enough."

"For now," Minori agreed.

"For now."

"Rest now, Tetsuya-san," Minori said, touching his face lightly and coaxing him into lying down, "Rebuild your strength. Within a few days, you should be strong enough to be up and about. Things will get busy as the wedding approaches."

"You're right," Tetsuya agreed, closing his eyes.

He didn't think that sleep would come so easily, but at Minori's touch, he dropped off quickly and slept dreamlessly. Several days passed in quick succession, and with each, the ache in his heart at seeing Minori and Byakuya together eased slightly. Byakuya appeared only once each day, always with Minori at his side, and usually when Tetsuya was sleeping. Tetsuya knew he had been there because the flowers in his room were always freshened and his scent still touched the air. At first, it brought sadness, but slowly, Tetusya slid into acceptance. And by the time he was able to stand and walk out to the garden doors, he had a feeling inside that the worst of the pain must be over. He was unbearably lonely still, but Minori's words stayed with him, making him hope against hope that it was still worth moving forward.

_Master,_ Arashi's relieved voice whispered into his mind, _It is good to see you on your feet again. I have missed you._

Tetsuya stepped out onto the walkway and approached the stallion, smiling as he reached up to pat the horse's neck and brush the thick forelock out of his eyes.

"I have missed you too," he said quietly, "I forgot for a while why you first came to me, Arashi, but the memory comes back now. Your presence here means that neither my strength nor my usefulness have died. I will move on, then. I will trust in my fate."

_Good. Are you well enough for a short ride?_

Tetsuya nodded and mounted, making the stallion look back over his shoulder questioningly.

_You don't wish to dress first? _he asked, studying the thin material of his yukata.

Tetsuya's sapphire eyes closed for a moment, looking more defiant and feral as they opened again.

"I am not one of them," he said softly, "I can do as I will..._as long as we are not seen_."

Arashi made a soft snicker of approval. He invoked Tetsuya's shikai, making their bodies fade into nearly invisible waterforms. Like a ghostly apparition, the stallion turned and ran at the back gate, clearing it easily and racing off into the forest with Tetsuya perched on his back and almost one with him. He made his motions smooth to avoid jostling too much his recovering master and slowed as they reached the waterfall. He meandered more carefully down a set of switchbacks and stopped beneath a tree, near the lake that the waterfall emptied into. Tetsuya slid down and waded briefly into the water, looking quietly at their reflections in the water as Arashi bowed his head and drank deeply.

_Are you all right? _Arashi asked, _I can barely feel your presence._

"I am a little tired," Tetsuya confessed, "Perhaps a short rest here would be good."

He sat down, listening to the sounds of the birds and the water steadily falling. His body ached at moving about after having spent so much time inactive.

_It was a mistake to take you from your rest so soon, _Arashi lamented penitently, _I confess I was overly eager to see you back on your feet and feeling your strength again. I will take you back._

"In a bit," Tetsuya yawned, stretching out on the grass, beneath the tree, "I've spent too much time locked up in that place with other people telling me to rest and not to exert myself. At very least, I will rest where I wish."

_As you will, Master, _Arashi replied, huffing his breath in equine amusement, _You see. You are getting better. Your stronger spirits are returning._

Tetsuya stifled a self-satisfied smirk and relaxed, resting his face on his arm and letting the soft breezes lull him. It wasn't long before his weariness overtook him and he drifted off. Arashi moved into the meadow, lowering his head to graze, but watching Tetsuya carefully, out of one sapphire eye. Some time later, he sensed a familiar reiatsu and lifted his head, turning to look at the approaching person. He wavered for a moment about what to do, then shimmered softly and faded into a waterform.

XXXXXXXXXX

Byakuya endured an uneasy sleep, filled, as it had been every night since leaving Tetsuya, with dreams about being with his spirited younger cousin. Some dreams replayed the beautiful unfolding of their friendship and slow fall into love and others tormented him with what could have been, but never would, now that he had closed the door between them. He tried repeatedly to remind himself of the rules he was dedicated to following and the promises he had made, but his mind was wracked with guilt and his heart filled with regret.

"Tetsuya..." he sighed brokenly in his sleep, "Tetsuya...?"

_"What is it, Byakuya-sama?" Tetsuya asked a bit breathlessly, his blue eyes worried, "I came as quickly as I could."_

_Tetsuya inhaled sharply as he was shoved back up against the ivy covered stone wall behind him and his mouth forcefully invaded._

_"B-byakuya-s-sama! Wh-what are you...?" the younger man objected, "W-we are at another clan's manor, not at home, baka! Someone could see!"_

_"Well then," the clan leader said, holding him more tightly and kissing him harder, "You shouldn't have been dancing so brazenly with that girl from the Yukishima clan!"_

_"Mmmph! Wh-what about you?" Tetsuya laughed softly and smirking as his mouth was eagerly plundered, "I thought that young lady from the Hiromatsu clan would devour you with her eyes alone! And besides, why should you be jealous? If anyone should be jealous, it should be me. You might have to marry one of those girls one day. If I marry at all, it would be a...mmmph! B-byakuy...mmm!"_

_His words faded into a faint moan of surrender as Byakuya's body pressed up against his. Byakuya's hands slipped beneath his cousin's kimono and he began to lose track of everything else but Tetsuya's sweet, feisty mouth and soft, fragrant skin. Tetsuya stiffened suddenly beneath his hands and swiftly invoked his shikai, hiding them from view as two young ladies walked within a mere few feet from where they stood._

_"You are a shameless flirt, Arisu!" laughed one of the girls, "Cozying up to Byakuya-san like that."_

_"Well, at least I wasn't allowing myself to be held by that lowly, half blood cousin of his like you were."_

_"Tetsuya-san is a very kind person. It is hard to believe such low blood runs in his veins."_

_"It's a pity," Arisu said flippantly, "He is a handsome boy...but your father would faint if he saw you even speaking to Tetsuya-san."_

_"You won't tell, will you?"_

_Arisu laughed softly._

_"Of course not. Come. I saw them go this way!"_

_Byakuya started to kiss Tetsuya again, but paused, gazing down into his cousin's bowed head as pain flashed in his eyes, then was quickly submerged._

_"We should go before they come back," Tetsuya said in an odd, weary sounding voice, "It wouldn't be good for you to be seen with me like this."_

_"Tetsuya," Byakuya said, slipping a hand under his chin and making the younger man's eyes meet his, "Do not take their words to heart. You are a beautiful, loving person, who deserves to find happiness. And you will."_

_"Of course," Tetsuya said placatingly, his voice trembling slightly, "But we should still go. It isn't good to take such chances."_

"Tetsuya!" Byakuya moaned, turning restlessly in his sleep, "Tetsuya, I'm sorry!"

_"I have never, ever treated you like a servant."_

_"No never. Until yesterday, when you walked away from me."_

"I had to. You said that you understood. Tetsuya...!"

_"Are you sure that the promise you made to Soujun-sama and to your mother was one that they would have wanted you to make?" Minori's voice said accusingly._

Byakuya sat up suddenly, his heart pounding and aching in his chest. Torio appeared in the doorway and gazed at him in the darkness of the room.

"Do you need something, Byakuya-sama?"

Byakuya let out a resigned breath.

"Is Tetsuya awake yet?" he asked softly.

"I do not know," Torio answered, "But I can go and..."

"Never mind. I will go."

Byakuya walked to the garden doors and opened them, letting the light and warmth seep into his room. He blinked and squinted, then made his way down the walkway and stopped in front of his cousin's bedroom doors. He was surprised to find them open, and when he looked into the room, his heart froze momentarily at seeing the bed was empty and unmade.

"Tetsuya?" he called softly, stepping into the room and feeling a chill pass through him.

Koji appeared instantly in the doorway and gasped softly at seeing the bed empty.

"Koji, where is my cousin?" Byakuya asked sternly.

"I...I don't know. He was _here_, only a little while ago...sleeping! I didn't sense him wake, sir!"

Byakuya quickly searched the dressing area and bathroom, then returned to the bedroom and extended his senses.

"Have the manor searched," Byakuya ordered tersely. _Find him_, Koji!"

The clan leader left the room through the garden doors and swiftly combed the gardens. He swallowed a twinge of panic at not finding him there, and studied the back gate for a moment. Sensing Arashi in the area of the meadow, he flash stepped away and hurried down the forest trail. He reached the waterfall and saw no sign of his cousin, then flash stepped down into the meadow and slid to a stop, staring as his eyes found his cousin, sleeping beneath a tree.

Tetsuya laid, stretched out on the ground, his face rested on his arm and his expression contented. His thin yukata barely covered him and the breeze teased the edges, offering the clan leader sinful glances at the loveliness that laid beneath it. Byakuya caught his breath softly, and flash stepped into the bushes as Tetsuya stirred and opened his eyes, looking around in confusion for a moment, then stretching languidly.

_Beautiful._

_Why did I think I could leave him? He doesn't even try, and he tempts me to the point of madness._

Tetsuya paused and frowned, looking down at his barely concealed privates and sighing in annoyance.

"I cannot go back looking like this," he mused, trying to adjust his yukata and failing to cover his obvious arousal, "But...?"

He looked around and his eyes found the nearby waterfall. He sensed no one nearby and sighed again in resignation.

"I suppose there's no choice."

He walked to the waterfall, unaware of the piqued gray eyes that watched him. Stepping under the cool fall of water, Tetsuya paused for a moment, thinking. A blush rose on his face as he considered what to do for a moment, then invoked his shikai and made a waterform copy of Byakuya. He slowly solidified it so that it looked almost real, then used his thoughts to direct it to embrace him from behind.

_It is sinful, I know, _he thought, _but I so ache for his touch. I miss him so much. And no one will know. No one is here to see._

Byakuya froze as the image appeared and embraced Tetsuya gently, holding him close and removing his yukata, letting it fall lazily down into the water, then sliding his hands down the curves of his cousin's slender body.

_I should go. I shouldn't watch..._

But it seemed that his feet had lost the ability to move. His heart pounded strangely in his chest and no matter how he berated himself, he was rooted to the spot and unable to tear his eyes away. He felt a sharp throbbing in his loins as a soft, lovely moan escaped Tetsuya's lips. He sank into the waterform's bracing arms, tilting his head to let it trail kisses along the length of his throat. Less coherent sounds broke from his lips and his hips moved temptingly as he thrust into the waterform's caressing hand.

Byakuya tried again to leave, but was still hopelessly frozen. He tried to remember his promise to his parents, but the vision of Tetsuya, writhing so beautifully in the waterform's arms held him tightly in its thrall. Then, Tetsuya's moans began to grow more urgent and his mouth opened wantonly, seeking the waterform's. He began to lose a bit of control and the waterform shimmered as his focus drifted.

Byakuya felt a sense of disorientation, registering that he was moving, but surprised at finding himself moving closer, then in, under the waterfall. He slipped somehow into the waterform's place, escaping his cousin's attention as Tetsuya neared climax and lost awareness for a moment. And for that one beautiful moment, everything around the two disappeared. Tetsuya's hazy eyes met his as Byakuya's caresses carried his cousin over and into climax. He drank in the intoxicating sounds of Tetsuya's gasps of completion, reveling in the sweet, wild look in his true love's blue eyes. He smiled and kissed Tetsuya's still moaning lips, then stared in dismay as realization and intense humiliation rose up in his cousin's expression.

Tetsuya tore himself free, flash stepping onto the shore and quickly retrieving his yukata. He wrapped it around his body hastily, then dropped to his knees, shaking visibly.

"Byakuya-sama!" he whispered, unable to meet the clan leader's eyes, "I...I am...I'm s-sorry! I am so sorry! I sh-shouldn't have...!"

"It is all right," Byakuya said, approaching him, then watching sadly as Tetsuya backed away on his hands and knees.

"Stop!" Tetsuya pleaded desperately, "P-please stop!"

"Tetsuya...it is all right. It is..."

"No, you can't do this!" Tetsuya said, wrapping his arms around his body as though to shield himself, "If you kiss me again, I won't be able to resist you anymore! I will give in to you, and we are going to bring our clan to war! Please, I don't want to be forced to leave here! I would never want to be parted from you. But you cannot do this! I cannot do this. We have to stop it now! Please, Byakuya-sama, go!"

Arashi appeared suddenly and Tetsuya flew onto his back, nudging him into a run and fleeing in the direction of the manor, before the stunned clan leader could answer him.

_Kami, he is right! This is getting out of control!_

_What is wrong with me?_

_I knew it was wrong. I was determined to adhere to the rules, but I lost control of myself! How did that happen? Why? I didn't want this to happen. I hurt him again and I took a terrible risk without thinking!_

_Why did I do that?_

_And how do I make it stop?_

Byakuya's eyes closed against the rising panic in his chest and he forced himself to walk slowly in the direction that Tetsuya had gone.

_I will be exceedingly careful from now on. I cannot let this happen again. Everything hinges on us preserving what is left of our honor._

_I am sorry, Tetsuya._

_Please, Cousin. Please find it in your heart to forgive me!_

_I am so sorry!_


	6. The Green-Eyed Monster

**Chapter 6: The Green-Eyed Monster**

**(Thanks so much for those continuing to read and support this and my other stories! My gratitude to TehWonderer (Right back at ya!), Picklez80 (Hmmm, maybe a little competition?), Anon (Yes, he is!), Winterheart2000 (Things will lighten in this chapter. I think poor Tetsuya needs a breath of fresh air!), Periwinkle (Here you go!), Kittykins (Yeah, he's a goner!), Kyuumihaira (Byakuya might have to run fast. Someone else is about to come into Tetsuya's orbit!), Henka-chan (I think this chapter will help!), SunlessNights (This should give poor Tetsuya a much needed boost!), MissLilly2012 (Minori is a great balancing factor for Tetsuya. But the dynamic between them will shift slightly as the wedding nears and reality sets in for them.), Walkure (Ah! And who better to teach Byakuya about that than...well, you'll see!), NamineLily (Tetsuya's about to start dreaming a little bigger!), Purple Light Snow (Clan rules say that if Byakuya knows of a reason why he and Minori can't create heirs, he has to reveal that. I guess I should have made that more clear.) and Shenigmatic (That reveal will come soon!) Enjoy the chapter! Love, Spunky)**

**(Two Months Later)**

"So, is Nii-sama going to meet us at Shiba Manor?" asked Rukia, looking down from where she sat in front of Minori, on Arashi's back.

"That is what he said, though he sounded less than enthusiastic at the prospect," Minori commented, smirking slightly, "I got the impression that although he very much appreciates Kurosaki-san's abilities on the battlefield, he doesn't hold with what he refers to as the 'liberal streak that possesses him.' I have never met Kurosaki-san, but I think it will be interesting."

"Yes," Rukia agreed, "It's always funny to watch how that idiot Ichigo gets under Nii-sama's skin!"

She looked down to where Tetsuya walked quietly alongside Arashi, seemingly lost in thought and unaware of their friendly banters.

"Are you feeling any better now, Tetsuya-san?" she asked, bringing him rather suddenly out of his reverie.

"I am fine, Rukia-chan," he assured her in a solemn, polite tone.

"You almost passed out in the gardens before we left," Rukia commented, still looking worried.

"Minori-sama's infusion steadied me well enough," Tetsuya said absently, "But thank you for your concern."

He continued on, falling back into his thoughts again and moving farther ahead of them.

"Minori-sama," Rukia said softly, "Is Tetsuya all right? I know he always says he is, but he really hasn't been himself for a while now. Is he still very depressed? He is still taking his meals alone and kind of avoiding me."

"Byakuya says that Tetsuya-san has always been a rather quiet person," Minori commented, "But I agree, he has been even more introverted lately."

"And Koji-san told me that he is still not eating so much, because he feels ill nearly every morning. Are you sure that you saw nothing more when you helped him when he had that dizzy spell before we left?"

"I didn't see anything troubling," Minori said carefully, "He merely seems to be under unusual stress these past months."

"He and Nii-sama also seem like they are barely speaking to each other."

"Oh, they have just been busy with wedding preparations, and Byakuya's work schedule has been taxing. I think they are all right."

"I hope so," Rukia sighed, "They've always been so close. I wondered if they had a falling out or something."

"Not to worry. I am sure things will work themselves out."

"Well, things seem to be going well with you and Nii-sama," Rukia went on, smiling at her brother's fiance. That is a really nice kimono he gave you for the Shiba clan's solstice party."

"Thank you, Rukia," Minori said, looking solemnly at Tetsuya, who had slowed to rejoin them as they reached the entrance to the Shiba estate.

"Rukia-chan, Minori-sama, if you will excuse me, I will return to the manor now."

"You aren't staying for Ichigo's party?" Rukia objected, "But..."

"I am...afraid I am still not..."

"Oh, no you don't!" Rukia said, frowning, "You are not getting out of this one, Tetsuya-san. We've been at you for months to relax more and have some fun with us. I'm not letting you run off and go back to work while the rest of us have a good time. You are coming with us and that's final!"

She slid down off of Arashi's back and grabbed Tetsuya's hand.

"Come on!"

"Rukia-chan..."

"_Come on_!" Rukia insisted, pulling him along and drawing an amused smile from Minori.

"I am supposed to be helping Minori-sama down!" Tetsuya objected, "Let go, Rukia-chan."

"No way!" Rukia exclaimed, pulling him on as Minori moved to join them.

Tetsuya fought the young woman's grasp for a moment, but went still as the manor gates opened to admit them and the guards nodded for them to pass.

"I have things to do, you know," Tetsuya said, lowering his eyes.

"It can wait," Rukia said saucily, "You need to have some fun way more than you need to work, Tetsuya-san."

"I think you had better just go along with her," Minori said, looking amused, "She seems quite determined, Tetsuya-san."

"She is a willful sort," Tetsuya agreed, frowning, "But fine, if it makes you feel better."

"It does. Come on, there's Ichigo!"

Minori followed the two to where Ichigo stood, greeting the guests as they entered. He broke into a grin, seeing Rukia, and it widened as he spotted her pulling Tetsuya along with her.

"Hey, Rukia," he greeted the young woman, "I see you convinced Byakuya to let Tetsuya off to come and have some fun with us. And..."

He paused for a moment, blinking and taking a surprised breath as his eyes met Minori's

"Ah...?"

"Oh!" said Rukia, "This is Minori-sama. He is Nii-sama's fiance."

"You're Minori?" Ichigo repeated, flushing slightly and extending a hand, "Pleased to meet you."

Minori accepted Ichigo's hand, smiling reflexively at the strong grip as they greeted each other.

"I am pleased to meet you as well," Kurosaki-san," Minori answered, a matching blush on his cheeks.

"Minori's a little shy," laughed Rukia.

"Right," Ichigo chuckled, "Is Byakuya gonna be here too?"

"Later," Rukia answered. raising the volume of her voice as music rose up in the ballroom, "Are they starting the dancing?"

"Yup," Ichigo said, nodding, "Let's go and have some fun!"

The four left the entryway and proceeded into the ballroom, joining the crowd of revelers in the room.

"Hi Rukia-chan!" Rikichi called out, from where he stood with several friends near one of the tables.

He flash stepped to join them and exchanged smiles with Minori and Tetsuya.

"Tetsuya-san, would you like to dance?" Rikichi asked, blushing.

"W-well..."

"He'd love to!" Rukia laughed, giving Tetsuya a shove and sending him forward into Rikichi.

"S-sorry!" Tetsuya managed as Rikichi laughed and took his hands.

"It's okay, no problem," Rikichi said loudly to be heard over the music.

The two swept onto the dance floor as Rukia caught Renji's hand and joined them, leaving Minori standing with Ichigo.

"Hey, do you wanna dance too?" Ichigo asked, extending a hand.

"Oh, I don't know," said Minori, "This kind of dancing, I haven't..."

"Come on," chuckled Ichigo, "It's easy. I'll show you."

He pulled Minori onto the dance floor, joining the throng of bodies moving with the swift cadence of the music. Minori relaxed as Ichigo guided him through a short segment of steps, then the two began to move together, leaving Minori almost instantly breathless.

"You look like you like this!" Ichigo said, smiling, "You're really good for a first-timer."

"I...ah...usually engage in ballroom dance, not so much the more modern music from the living world."

"Well, now you know what you've been missing, hanging around all those stuffy nobles. We're not such an anal clan like Byakuya's."

"Ichigo-san!"

"Sorry!" Ichigo laughed, "I like to tease Byakuya about that. I'm just kidding."

"Somehow, I don't think so," Minori said, smirking.

The two swept past Tetsuya, whom Rikichi had handed off to Renji, while stealing Rukia away.

"I'm glad to see you got Tetsuya to come with you," Ichigo said, sending Minori into a spin, then catching his hand again and moving closer, "That guy needs to have some fun."

"He is a rather quiet person," Minori replied, "But you are right. Some levity is good for him."

"Rikichi's got the biggest crush on him, but it's all pretty innocent. Actually, I think there are a few people here who are hoping to get a dance with him before the night's over."

"Are you one of them?" Minori asked, smiling.

"You bet!" Ichigo said, nodding, "He's cute. And it looks like he's a good dancer too."

"He usually doesn't dance at parties," Minori said, smiling more widely as he watched Renji spin Tetsuya into Orihime's arms as he escaped to snap up a drink from the refreshment table, "He is usually quite obsessed with security matters..."

Minori trailed off and stopped dancing as he caught sight of Byakuya entering the room.

"Sorry," he said hastily, bowing briefly, "I must go. Thank you, Ichigo-san. I enjoyed this kind of dancing very much."

"Sure thing!" Ichigo said, stealing Tetsuya away from Orihime as Rukia appeared and dragged her off to the refreshment table.

Minori moved quickly to join Byakuya, whose curious gaze followed Ichigo and Tetsuya as the two danced.

"Is that my cousin?" Byakuya asked, sounding surprised.

"Yes," Minori said, smiling and nodding, "He tried to avoid attending, but I'm afraid Rukia was very determined for him to stay. She and her friends have kept him dancing non-stop since we arrived."

"Ah..."

Byakuya and Minori sat down together at one of the tables and an attendant delivered a round of drinks. The two were quickly engaged by several members of the Shiba family, as well as several members of other noble houses. All the while that they talked and sipped at their drinks, Byakuya's eyes continued to flick upward, intermittently to glimpse Tetsuya as he paused for a quick drink, smiling gratefully as Rikichi set it in his hand, then being caught around the waist almost as he finished and brought back onto the dance floor by Uryu, then a laughing Yoruichi, then Ichigo again.

"Are you sure that it is all right for him to exert himself like this when he has not been well?" Byakuya asked Minori, sounding slightly piqued.

"Oh, he seems fine," Minori assured him as the music slowed and Ichigo pulled Byakuya's cousin closer, "And he seems to be enjoying himself."

"Yes," Byakuya agreed stiffly, "he does."

He tried to focus on conversing with the other taichous at the party, and involved himself in introducing Minori to other guests. But as the slow dance continued and Tetsuya rested his head lightly on Ichigo's shoulder and closed his eyes, Byakuya reiatsu sparked and his gray eyes darkened.

"Are you all right?" Minori asked, "You seem distracted."

"It has been a long day," Byakuya admitted, "And I have to confess that although I of course, appreciate Ichigo's contributions to protecting Soul Society, I am not fond of such...loud revelry."

"Hmmm," Minori said softly, his eye resting on Ichigo and Tetsuya, "The environment is very different from the other parties we have been attending. But I enjoy the difference."

"Hmmm..."

Byakuya frowned as Ichigo wrapped an arm around Tetsuya and guided him out of the ballroom and onto one of the balconies.

"I think it is time for us to return to the manor," he said, standing.

Minori rose and followed Byakuya out onto the balcony.

"Are you all right now?" Ichigo asked Tetsuya, keeping an arm around him as Tetsuya took slow breaths and leaned against him.

"Tetsuya, it is..." Byakuya began, pausing as he realized what was happening.

"He started to feel dizzy," Ichigo explained, "I thought some fresh air would help."

Minori hastened to Tetsuya's side as he slid into a chair and put his face in his hands.

"Too much excitement, ne?" Minori said kindly, laying his hands on Tetsuya's face and chest, then invoking his power and beginning a gentle reiatsu infusion.

"It seems so," Tetsuya answered, avoiding Byakuya's eyes.

"Do you feel steady enough to ride Arashi home?" the clan leader asked.

"No worries," said Ichigo, "I've got this."

He lifted a protesting Tetsuya into his arms and laughed softly.

"Wouldn't want you falling off your horse and getting hurt."

"I have not actually fallen from Arashi's back in years!" Tetsuya objected, blushing, "I could ride him even unconscious."

"Sure," said Ichigo, "but I feel like I should help you out, since I kept you dancing too long and wore you out. Hang on!"

Minori smiled as the two disappeared from the balcony.

"I think, despite not feeling well, Tetsuya-san enjoyed himself tonight."

"Hmmm," Byakuya said absently, still watching in the direction Ichigo had gone, carrying his cousin, "He shouldn't have overexerted himself."

"Perhaps not," said the younger man, "But it is a relief to see him being more social. He has been quite depressed."

"I understand that," Byakuya said shortly, "But he doesn't need to overcompensate by exhausting himself."

"Byakuya," Minori said bracingly, "I know it is hard to see him gravitating towards others. As much as you have both tried to..."

"Come. We should go now," Byakuya said, slipping a hand into the younger man's and leading him away.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Here we are," said Ichigo, setting Tetsuya back on his feet as they reached the front gates of Kuchiki Manor, "Home, safe and sound. You feeling better now?"

"I am," Tetsuya said gratefully, "Thank you, Ichigo-sama."

"Hey, would you cut out that 'sama' crap?" Ichigo chuckled, "You don't have to be so formal with me. Just Ichigo is fine."

"Thank you, Ichigo," Tetsuya said, blushing, "I did enjoy myself tonight, despite being a bit ill."

"Well, we'll have to do this again when I'm here for Byakuya's birthday party," Ichigo suggested, "It'll probably be a little less loud, but I'm getting used to ballroom dancing too."

"Very well," Tetsuya said, smiling, "I will see you then."

"I hope I'll see you before then," Ichigo said, surprising Tetsuya by slipping his arms around him.

Neither noticed that Byakuya and Minori had appeared a short distance away.

"Look, I know Rikichi's sort of interested in you. And if..."

"I am only friends with Rikichi," said Tetsuya, "but Ichigo, I..."

"I get that you're pretty shy," said the ginger-haired youth, "But I'm not so much anymore. I'm just going to be honest and tell you, I think you're cute, Tetsuya. I'd like to go out with you...just you and me sometime, if that's okay."

"Ah...I um..." Tetsuya stammered uncertainly.

"Hey," Ichigo said, catching him under the chin and making him freeze as their eyes met, "I'm not asking for your hand in marriage. I just want to go out with you for some fun, just the two of us. Like I said, I think you're cute."

"I..." Tetsuya said, blushing furiously, "Thank you, Ichigo-sa..._Ichigo_. I appreciate the invitation."

He froze again as Ichigo's fingertips touched his lips, stopping any more words from escaping.

"Let's just leave it at that," Ichigo chuckled, leaning forward and touching his lips to Tetsuya's.

Tetsuya's eyes closed and he went perfectly still as Ichigo's lips caressed his gently.

"You take care and get better, okay?" Ichigo said, releasing him and leaving him swaying slightly.

"I will," Tetsuya said breathlessly, watching as the Shiba heir flash stepped away.

The flush on his face deepened as he realized Byakuya and Minori had arrived.

"It is good to see you are feeling better," Byakuya said quietly, "I hope Ichigo was gentlemanly with you."

"Of course he was," Tetsuya said quickly, "He was just...interested in seeing me."

"Hmmm," Byakuya said, turning away, "Well, right now, you should probably go and 'see' the clan healer. You look flushed."

He nodded in Minori's direction.

"Come, Minori. I will see you home."

Tetsuya watched them leave, then turned into the manor and headed for his room, a more contented look in his eyes and Ichigo's kiss still warming his blushing lips.

_Ichigo is very kind. Perhaps it would be good to see him sometimes._

_Maybe..._


	7. Arms of a Friend

**Chapter 7: Arms of a Friend**

**(I'm posting on Spunky's behalf today. She's still pathetically sick and I had to post it for her so she wouldn't do it herself. I love that gal, but she is a maniac! Anyway, enjoy the read, guys. I'm going to make some tea for my sick buddy. Spunky says she loves ya')**

Tetsuya started towards his bedroom, but sensed Koji waiting for his arrival and dreaded being fussed over. Wanting instead to be alone, he invoked his shikai, making his body fade into a nearly invisible waterform, which he used to cross the gardens and slip out onto the forest trail. He walked noiselessly through the trees, wishing he could disappear into them and make himself one with them. It had to be peaceful being rooted there in familiar surroundings, with others like oneself all around.

_I have never been among my own kind. Just while I was in the prison, but then the cells separated us. I had Naoki with me, but that ended when we made our escape. It was my fault, because he only made the plans to escape when he found out I was pregnant. So, instead of remaining in the prison and only losing my baby, once the guards would have found out, I lost Naoki and the baby. I couldn't do anything. I couldn't save anyone. I was so weak back then. But even though I am stronger now, I am alone._

_Why am I always alone?_

_I will treasure always the years I spent at Byakuya-sama's side. The camaraderie between us brought me back from the brink of madness after I lost my lover and child. And when he told me that he was in love with me, I fell shamelessly, heedlessly, recklessly for him. I felt such a bond as I have never felt with anyone._

_But all along, I was just fooling myself. I knew, even then. I knew what choice he would make if ever challenged by the elders. And even knowing that he could leave me at any moment, I was blissfully happy, because I believed so strongly in our love._

_I guess that I fooled myself into secretly hoping that it would never happen...that he would never be given to another for marriage. Had I only stopped and thought things through, I would have seem how badly I was setting myself up. I would have held back something of my heart and had something left of it when he walked away. But I gave everything. I didn't hold back anything at all._

_And he left and took everything with him._

_I have nothing left._

_He pretends to want to return to the brotherhood we had before, but how can I trust even that? It seems my heart has been broken too badly. I cannot feel the warmth of even just his friendship._

_Why do I remain here?_

_He never required that I stay. He said that I was free to choose my path. I suppose I could leave, but where would I go? I have my adoptive parents and family, of course, but I would feel like a burden, returning to them in shame. I have a few acquaintances, but no close friends. I never needed anyone but him. I was so pathetically dependent on him before! Maybe that's why it was so easy for him to leave me. He values strength, and I only have the strength that I do because he made it grow in me. It seems to seep away as well now. I feel a weakening in my powers. I have dizzy spells and am sick so often now. Yes, it is like he has taken back everything. And yet, I let it all go willingly. I accepted easily the excuse that he had to obey._

_And now, all I know is emptiness..._

He felt again, the sweet tickle inside that had stricken him when Ichigo kissed him and wondered sadly, if Ichigo, too, would love him only to later leave him.

_Master, Byakuya-sama is looking for you. He is agitated because you have neglected to see the healer._

He knew he should go back immediately. But suddenly, he couldn't bear the thought of just accepting the inevitable. Although he had carefully conditioned himself to accept Byakuya's every command, there was a side of him that only accepted grudgingly, a side that had existed before, but that he had let go of to allow the clan leader into his heart.

_I sometimes forget that person I was before...terrified of being imprisoned...half-wild and ready to break down any walls that tried to confine me. _

_Was it really bad to be that way? Was it truly better to be settled and calm inside, to adhere to strict rules and live someone else's way, simply because I thought that being like him was so much better than being myself? Yes, I am a half-blood, a wild, uncivilized being on the inside. I don't think I am less than the full-bloods, but by accepting being only Byakuya-sama's secret lover, I relegated myself to being lesser! I always thought that I was fighting to be accepted among them, to be their equal someday, but all along I was making myself a slave to their leader's every whim! I never once realized that i began to look down on myself. I didn't demand more, then, because I didn't think I deserved it!_

_What have I done to myself? _Tetsuya wondered darkly.

_Master, Byakuya-sama comes this way. I believe he has sensed you are here._

He tried desperately to hold still, to close his eyes against the swell of Byakuya's annoyance at being purposely disobeyed, to allow himself to be taken back to his room and then to sit quietly while he was healed and gently rebuked for being difficult.

But suddenly, emotion swelled up inside and he couldn't hold it down anymore. He sensed again that half-wild, feral person he had been before, upon first leaving the prison. And as much as that person had been uncivilized and uncultured, he had, at very least, been an honest person...one who would never let himself be caught and imprisoned by anyone, ever!

_But what did I do that day? _

The question haunted him.

_I kneeled at the feet of the heir to the house whose members killed my family, my Naoki, and our baby! I lowered myself and pleaded for his mercy, then accepted his brotherhood and his love without questioning. I even tried to be like them, modeling myself after him and rejecting the peasant that was a part of me._

_Yes, for all this time, I have secretly hated myself as much as they did!_

"Tetsuya?" Byakuya's voice said quietly, from somewhere behind him.

_I only have to turn back and it will be all right again._

_I only have to lay myself at his feet and let him build the walls around me again, and my heart will be calm and quiet again._

_Isn't that how it has always been?._

"Cousin, are you all right?"

_Hasn't he always made that wild, uncivilized part of me go away?_

"Tetsuya?" Byakuya said in a worried tone, bringing his hand to rest on the younger man's shoulder, "Tetsuya, why won't you speak to me?"

Before he quite realized what he was doing, Tetsuya took on his almost invisible waterform and tore away from his stunned cousin. He ran at the edge of the cliff and dived headlong into the dark lake, plunging into the water and making himself one with it. Slicing through the water, he emerged at the shore and blazed across the meadow in blistering flash steps, water droplets flying off the ends of his wet hair and fingertips. He ran blindly, oblivious to everything but the primal need to escape. When he finally skidded to a stop, he was panting too hard to breathe properly, shaking all over and his handsome face was bathed in tears. He dropped to his knees in the damp grass, beneath a blossoming plum tree, too overwhelmed to run anymore. He waited for Byakuya's hand to touch him again, to undo the last remaining bit of his sanity and completely destroy him inside.

But the hand that touched his shoulder next was not Byakuya's, and the arms that wrapped around him were welcomed, even longed for.

"Hey, what're you doing out here, soaking wet and in the dark all alone? I thought you were going to see the healer back at Kuchiki Manor."

"Ichigo!" Tetsuya whispered, closing his eyes and burying his face in the other young man's shoulder, "I don't know what to do!"

"It's okay," Ichigo said in a softer tone, pulling back a curtain of dripping raven strands and brushing the tears away from his eyes, "Why don't you tell me what's got you so upset? I don't mean to pry into your business, but you look pretty miserable. I might not be able to fix it, but I'll do my best to help. What happened? Did you and Byakuya have a fight? He seemed kinda bent out of shape when he saw us kissing..."

"Worse," Tetsuya said softly, unable to keep the secret any longer, "I have been Byakuya-sama's lover for the last fifty years...ever since Hisana-sama died!"

XXXXXXXXXX

Byakuya reached Tetsuya's bedroom and found the garden doors open and his cousin nowhere to be found.

"I told Tetsuya to go immediately to bed and to have the clan healer see him," he told a flustered Koji.

"Sir, I am sorry!" the young man exclaimed, "He never returned here! I swear it! I was right here the whole time, awaiting his return from the party. If he had set foot in here, I would have..."

"I know," Byakuya said, forcing down the flare of anger that had risen up inside at discovering his cousin's misbehavior.

"Would you like me to go and look for him, Byakuya-sama?" Koji offered, brushing away a tear with one shaking hand, "I won't stop until I find him. I'm very sorry to have disappointed you...truly!"

"It's fine," Byakuya said, tightening his lips and shaking his head, "I will find him. You are to have the clan healer ready to examine him when we return."

"Y-yes, of course, sir!" Koji said, fleeing the room.

Byakuya walked out into the gardens, pausing to search for the touch of Tetusya's reiatsu. A troubled flicker passed through his heart as he sensed what he had been looking for, but that it seemed Tetsuya's reiatsu had became significantly rougher in its feel. It still felt like his cousin's presence, but had a deeper, more primal resonation that unsettled the clan leader inside.

_It feels more like it did back then..._

He registered a flash memory of Tetsuya, kneeling at his feet, his head lowered and in panting breaths, pleading for him to spare him and the child he carried.

_But I couldn't do that. I couldn't spare your child, nor your pain at losing everything. I picked up the pieces and arranged them differently, thinking all along that I was mending you. But was that what I did, or did I just try to change you so that you would fit into my world? You were perfect the way you were...filled with life, despite the difficulty of your life, ready to fight to the end for what mattered to you. You held nothing back and asked for nothing from anyone except for what you asked of me that night. I am sorry for disappointing you, Tetsuya...first by not saving your baby, then by thinking that making you like us, changing you from the way you were, was somehow better than proudly embracing the one I loved._

_Yes, that is the truth, even though I never could tell you._

_I loved you from that first moment. I knew it would not be allowed, so I called what I felt, brotherhood, and I brought you close to me. And what you have never known is that I wasn't in love with Hisana, but took her as my wife to pave the way for mixed bloods without risking you, who I could not bear to lose. Hisana knew, of course, and she tried to tell me that I couldn't protect you from being in that battle alongside me. She was right, Tetsuya. Had I only been honest with myself, and with you, then..._

But he remembered all too well the cost Hisana had paid for taking that risk.

_Such deadly secrets, Tetsuya. I only wanted that your heart should not be burdened with them, that you might not be endangered, even as I made the way clear for us to be together. But I failed in that. Hisana died and what the elders promised to do if I ever transgressed in such a way again..._

To think of Tetsuya dying in such a way was unbearable.

_But even though he is alive right now, he is in agony. And why? My decisions have brought us to this. I have single-handedly taken him apart. If he drowns in his despair, then I swear I will never forgive myself!_

He flash stepped swiftly in the direction in which he had sensed his cousin, passing through the gardens and following his meandering path through the woods. He emerged near the waterfall and slid to a stop, spotting Tetsuya, standing at the edge of the cliff, looking more ghostly and ethereal than one of his waterforms.

"Tetsuya," he called softly.

His cousin remained perfectly still and facing away from him, though he had to have heard. Byakuya closed the distance between them, resting a hand on Tetsuya's shoulder as he called to him again again.

"Cousin, are you all right? Tetsuya, why won't you speak to me?"

Tetsuya's tormented eyes struck his forcefully, for a moment. And for that heartbreaking moment, he saw exactly how much pain his cousin was enduring. He couldn't move as Tetsuya shifted suddenly into a waterform and fled like a startled deer, first diving headlong off the cliff and into the dark, lake, then swimming swiftly to the far edge, breaking free and charging heedlessly across the meadow.

"Tetsuya," the clan leader breathed in a stricken voice, "what is happening to you?"

He knew, of course. And the shame of what he had done welled up and held him still on the edge of the cliff until Tetsuya had disappeared into the distance.

_I only ever wanted to protect you so that our family would not destroy you. But I made so many mistakes. And in the end, they aren't the ones who are destroying you. The one who is breaking you apart inside...is me!_

"Tetsuya," he whispered, "I am sorry. Come back. Come back and I will tell you everything. It won't take away what is happening, but at least you will know that you didn't give your love to me in vain."

He broke free of the forces that held him back, and he raced after his cousin, promising himself that if it was the last thing he did, he would make things all right for them again.

"Tetsuya!"

He ran as recklessly as his cousin had, following Tetsuya's headlong path and feeling intense, burgeoning worry at the loss of control he was seeing.

"Tetsuya!"

He lost track of where he was, how long he had been running, everything but finding his lover and making things all right between them. He came upon the younger noble suddenly, and froze, staring at the heart rending sight of his devastated cousin, soaking wet, shaking like a leaf and crying as Ichigo held him. As he approached, the Shiba heir met his eyes in challenge. Tetsuya finally seemed to register his presence and half-turned his head, though he stopped short of meeting Byakuya's eyes.

"Tetsuya..." the clan leader whispered.

"I don't think he's up to talking to you right now," Ichigo said quietly, continuing to hold Tetsuya against him, "I don't know what happened between you, but I think you should let me take him back to Shiba Manor and take care of him for tonight."

"Ichigo."

"I won't take advantage of him being like this. I wouldn't do that. I'm just going to let him clean up and see our healer, then I'll make sure he's comfortable. That's what you want for him right now, isn't it?"

Byakuya's eyes remained fixed on his overwhelmed cousin.

"Yes," he managed, finally, "I understand. But, before you leave, please allow me to say one last thing."

Ichigo gazed at him calmly for a moment, then glanced at Tetsuya for a response. Tetsuya met Byakuya's eyes for the barest of moments, then nodded silently.

"I am sorry for causing you so much pain," Byakuya said softly, "I never meant for that to happen. The truth is, Tetsuya, that...I always have been in love with you."

"I know that."

"No, I mean...I have been in love with you since that first day. That day you escaped the prison. Almost at first sight, I fell in love with you."

"That is impossible," Tetsuya whispered, "I was no one then. I was a useless escaped prisoner, carrying another man's child. I came to you with nothing. And I am leaving you with the same."

"That is not true," Byakuya said, shaking his head, "This isn't the time for me to tell you everything. You need to be taken care of and made well again first. But please trust just this. There is...something that I haven't told you. I can explain my actions so that you will understand what you have been to me..."

"I haven't been nearly what I thought I was to you," Tetsuya said brokenly, "I was no better than a whore to you."

"Don't say that."

"I was," Tetsuya said, closing his eyes, "I gave you everything and asked for nothing. And nothing is what is left."

"I know that is what you think, but please believe me that that's not true. I promise that when you are well, I will tell you everything. But go with Ichigo for now. Let him take care of you as I cannot."

"C'mon Tetsuya," Ichigo said gently, "You've got to be freezing."

"I won't freeze," Tetsuya assured him, "My powers protect me from the cold. I will be fine."

He squeezed Ichigo's hand where it held his.

"Thank you, Ichigo."

"Hey, you'd do the same for me," the Shiba heir said, smiling at him, "C'mon now. You may not be able to freeze, but I can. It's really cold tonight."

"Ichigo is right," Byakuya said, taking a step back and starting to turn away, "We can talk when you feel ready to hear what I have to say. It will not change what is happening right now, but it will, I think bring you some peace."

Tetsuya looked at him for a moment, then nodded silently. He moved with the Shiba heir as Ichigo helped him back onto his feet and kept an arm around him. They watched as Byakuya turned and disappeared into the trees, then Tetsuya sagged wearily against Ichigo, letting out a sigh of resignation.

"I don't know what's wrong with me," he complained softly, "I never seen to feel anything but tired."

"You're under a lot of stress," Ichigo acknowledged, guiding him back along the road in the direction of Shiba Manor, "You just need to get out of those wet things and have a hot shower and some tea. Just because you won't die from the cold, doesn't make it good for you."

"You're right about that," Tetsuya said, smiling sadly, "I can still become ill from too much cold, and I feel awful enough already."

"I'll have our healer look at you after we get warmed up."

They reached the manor and Ichigo led Tetsuya to the baths, where the two undressed and stepped in under the warm showers. Tetsuya breathed slowly in the steamy air, letting the warmth seep back into his aching body. Ichigo remained close to him, washing himself and smiling at him when their eyes met. And when he noticed Tetsuya was nearly asleep on his feet, he moved closer and took the soap from his hand. Tetsuya looked back at him through tired eyes, wondering what he meant to do.

"I told you, I am just being a good friend tonight," Ichigo explained, "You don't need a lover, Tetsuya. You need a friend. So, just let me take care of you, okay?"

Tetsuya nodded sleepily and closed his eyes. Ichigo's hands bathed him slowly, and his voice had Tetsuya nodding off while he still stood under the water. He barely registered when Ichigo led him back to the edge of the bathing pool and dried him off, then wrapped him in a warm yukata. He fell into bed, only managing a few words as the healer examined him and offered him a gentle infusion and massage. He was asleep before the healer left, and was wholly unaware when the Shiba heir slid into the bed with him.

But it was a comfort to wake and find the arms of a friend holding him.

_He was right. I didn't need a lover tonight. I needed a friend. And Kurosaki Ichigo is the very best friend a person could have._

He burrowed more deeply into Ichigo's arms, letting the warmth of that closeness fill him. He drifted back into a deep sleep and didn't see when Ichigo opened an eye to check on him, smiled at the more comfortable look on his face, then closed his eye again and drifted off.


	8. Passion Only for You

**Chapter 8: Passion Only for You**

Tetsuya's mind began to lift itself out of the deep sleep it had fallen into, and encountered the soothing feeling of warm, gentle fingers slowly trailing through the wavy, silken lengths of his hair, pausing to lightly touch his cheek and lips, then sliding along the skin of his throat. Softened lips touched his forehead, then brushed tentatively against his mouth. He loosed a very soft, sleepy sigh of contentment and opened his eyes, to find them looking up into Ichigo's friendly, golden brown orbs.

"Hey there. You feeling all right now?" he asked, "Sorry to wake you, but I have to go and do a few things. It's a pain in the ass. I'm not usually up this early."

"And I usually am," Tetsuya responded, smiling up at him, "Not to worry. My stomach is a little achey, but I will be fine now. I should really get back to Kuchiki Manor. I need to make things right with my cousin."

He started to sit up, but was stopped by the warm grip of Ichigo's hand on his shoulder.

"Just stay put, okay?" he said, pushing Tetsuya down again, gently, "I'll be back in a little while. I still want to talk to you...about a few things. Just wait here, okay? My attendant, Miki, will bring you something to eat."

"W-well..."

"I know you've got to go and talk to Byakuya," Ichigo acknowledged, "But, before you do, I just want to make sure you're in good enough shape to do that."

"Ichigo-sama," Tetsuya said disapprovingly, sitting up straighter and encountering a stubborn, but still gentle hand that pushed him down again, "I am not...!"

"I know," Ichigo said bracingly, "I didn't mean to sound like I know better than you. I just want to help, okay?"

Tetsuya let out a soft, weary breath.

"Oh...very well," he sighed, "I suppose it would be better to think things through before going back. I was woefully out of control last night. I don't know what came over me. But thank you, Ichigo."

The ginger-haired youth smiled warmly and kissed him on the cheek.

"No problem. Just rest and have something to eat now, okay? I'll be back."

Tetsuya relaxed against the pillow and nodded briefly, watching as Ichigo left, then looking around briefly at the room he was in.

_I wonder if it was a mistake to come here. As much as Ichigo is a kind person and a person more than worthy of attracting my attentions, this isn't the time for moving on just yet. If last night proved anything, it is that I am not under any kind of control. I need to come to terms with this._

He sighed in resignation and climbed out of the bed, then walked to the large bay window and gazed out at where the sun was rising prettily on the horizon.

_I have lost Byakuya-sama as a lover, but we still should be there for each other as friends and as cousins. How do I do that when even looking at him reminds me how much I long for him? It is painful to see him, even without Minori-sama present. And when Minori-sama is there, it is even worse. I do not feel animosity towards him, but I feel even more unsettled at seeing him with the man who was until recently, my lover. I feel horrid at feeling anything against Minori-sama. He is a good person, and he did not choose to end my relationship with Byakuya-sama, nor did he choose that marriage. No, neither of them is at fault, really. I was just so stupid to let myself fall in love again. I should have learned from losing Naoki...love never stays. It is just as well to live without it, because it tears at the heart to lose it...and I haven't the heart to do this again._

He thought quietly of how good it had felt to be held by Ichigo during their dancing, and how friendly his smile was...how warm his lips were. He remembered waking briefly during the night, aching at heart, only to feel Ichigo's soothing hands comfort him back into sleep.

_My heart longs to turn in his direction. But if it did, it would only be to look for solace. I cannot get into a serious relationship while my heart is still in disarray._

_Maybe I should go._

Not wanting to attract attention, Tetsuya invoked his shikai, letting his body take on the translucent state of a waterform. He left the room and started towards the stairs, pausing as he realized that someone else was walking down ahead of him. He moved forward on silent feet and continued walking behind the person, who looked to be an aged woman Tetsuya vaguely recognized as one of the Shiba elders. Noting that she appeared to be carrying several items, he frowned to himself and relinquished his waterform, moving closer to offer to help her.

Before he could speak, the woman stumbled, and although she tried to flash step, she seemed off balance and likely to crash into the wall or railing, upsetting her possessions. Tetsuya flash stepped forward and caught her up as she clutched at the things she had been carrying and looked curiously up at her young rescuer. Tetsuya set the woman on her feet, then blushed, realizing how he was dressed and that she must have guessed he had come out of Ichigo's bedroom.

"Ah, arigatou!" she said gratefully, "And, who might you be?"

"My lady!" cried an approaching attendant, "Are you all right? You should have called on me to carry that for you!"

"Oh, nonsense," the elderly woman laughed dismissively, her smile and gentle demeanor taking Tetsuya instantly off his guard, "I am quite capable of managing, myself. Well, usually, that is. But you needn't worry. This lovely young man has averted the near disaster I caused."

"Thank you so much!" the attendant said, bowing in front of Tetsuya, "I am so glad you were there to help Chiasa-sama! Thank you, Tetsuya-san, thank you!"

The old woman's kind eyes widened at the name and she looked more closely at the young noble.

"Tetsuya-san, you say?" she mused, "Oh..."

She glanced from Tetsuya to the room he had to have come from and smiled at the pretty flush on his cheeks and throat.

"So...this is the lovely young Kuchiki who danced so beautifully with our Ichigo. Swept him off his feet, I see."

"Well, I do not know about that..." Tetsuya began.

"But, it is good to meet our heir's fiancé in person, albeit early in the morning and before we have had the chance to dress properly."

"Oh, but I am not...!" Tetsuya tried to protest.

"Such a lovely and well bred young man," Chiasa said, smiling and reaching up to brush a few errant strands of raven hair away from the flustered young man's eyes, "I knew there was good reason that the council had chosen to support you as one of Ichigo's suitors."

"H-his...?"

"Well," the old woman chuckled, cutting him off again, "I must be on my way now. Ken, if you will take these, I will see if I can avoid tripping over my own feet as I walk to the carriage. Good day, Tetsuya-san. I look forward to meeting you officially!"

"But...!"

Tetsuya watched with widened eyes as the woman left, then sighed and shook his head.

"Ah well. She will find out soon enough we are not..."

"Hey, Tetsuya," Ichigo greeted him suddenly, startling him and making him blush again.

"Ah, good morning again, Ichigo-sama."

"I told you not to use that 'sama' stuff around me," the ginger-haired youth said, frowning.

"S-sorry, Ichigo," Tetsuya corrected himself, pulling the front of his yukata more closed and turning back towards the stairs.

"What are you doing, wandering around out here? I told you Miki would bring anything you need."

"Well, I heard someone on the stairs, and she tripped and I was helping her."

"What was that? What happened?"

"The lady elder, Chiasa-sama, tripped on the stairs and I caught her up and helped her with her things."

"Oh, that was nice. She wasn't hurt, was she?"

"No. She seemed fine, if a little ruffled."

"Ah, I'm glad for that. Thanks for catching her. She's a nice lady."

"Yes," Tetsuya agreed, biting at his lips gently and glancing at the door Chiasa had exited.

"S-so," Ichigo went on, "I wanted to talk with you for awhile, but the council has called a meeting and I have to go to that for a few more hours. So, I was wondering if I could meet you later."

"W-well, I..." Tetsuya began.

"There's a dignitary coming to dinner tonight, and I was hoping that you would attend as my date."

Tetsuya thought back to Chiasa's misunderstanding and started to decline.

"Wait, before you say no, just give it some thought, okay? There's going to be good food, not too big a crowd and some ballroom dancing. How does that sound? C'mon, you don't want me to have to go alone and be bored out of my mind, do you?"

"Well, what about your other friends?" Tetsuya asked, "Surely one of them would enjoy going."

"Eh," Ichigo said, scratching the back of his neck and looking sheepish, "They don't really do more formal gatherings. That's more for guys like you and Byakuya, right?"

"I don't know about that, but...if you wish, I will attend with you."

"Great," Ichigo said, grinning, "I'll come by the manor at about five okay?"

"Actually, I would rather meet you here, if you do not mind," Tetsuya suggested, "Byakuya-sama is already unhappy about us seeing each other."

"Like he's got a right to object," Ichigo mused, shaking his head.

"He is not trying to direct my choices," Tetsuya said firmly, "But it makes him uncomfortable to see us together, so there is no need to make things worse."

"All right," Ichigo said, smiling good-naturedly, "But you know, Tetsuya, he kinda deserves it for breaking up with you. He's going to feel really stupid for making a mistake like that."

"Ichigo..."

"Gotta go," the Shiba heir said, giving Tetsuya a quick embrace and a farewell kiss, "I'll see you here at five, then."

"I will be here."

Tetsuya sighed softly and invoked his shikai, then slipped out the doors and flash stepped out to the main road. Arashi appeared in front of him and nudged him gently in greeting.

_Are you feeling better this morning? _he asked as Tetsuya mounted, still remaining concealed, _You still look a little rattled, Master._

"I do feel better," Tetsuya said as Arashi broke into a trot and carried him towards home, "Ichigo was kind enough to look after me through the night. I still have much to deal with, but it was the first time I have gotten a good night's sleep since..."

_Things will get better Master,_ Arashi assured him, _And aren't you the one who says we shouldn't get too mired in the worries of the moment. They will pass._

"Yes," Tetsuya agreed, "but I never imagined that this would actually happen. I fooled myself entirely, and it has caused nothing but disaster. If I start to fall in love again, just kick me a few times until I come to my senses. Love is a very foolish endeavor, Arashi. It only ends badly."

_Oh, I don't think that's true, _the stallion replied as Kuchiki Manor appeared before them and Tetsuya abandoned his shikai, becoming visible again, _I think that you should wait and see before giving up altogether._

Arashi slowed and came to a stop as Byakuya emerged from the manor and paused, looking up at Tetsuya.

"Cousin," he queried softly, "I trust you have slept well?"

"Yes," Tetsuya said, blushing as he realized he was still in his night clothes, "Byakuya-sama, I am sorry for my behavior last night. I should not have defied your order to see the healer. I will go and see him now."

"You did not see the Shiba's healer?" Byakuya asked, frowning.

"I did, but he was unable to determine why I keep having dizzy spells."

"Perhaps you should go to the fourth division."

"It is just stress, Byakuya-sama," Tetsuya said wearily, "but if it is your wish, I will go after I dress."

"That would be good," Byakuya agreed, "But first, we should talk for a bit."

Tetsuya sighed.

"It is not proper for us to 'talk' unattended and with me in my night clothes."

"One might wonder why you have returned, hiding in your shikai and in your night clothes," Byakuya mused, his eyes darkening slightly, "But go on, then. I will meet you in the gardens...with our attendants present."

"Very well, Byakuya-sama," Tetsuya said, sliding down from Arashi's back and turning towards his room.

Not wishing to prolong their discomfort, Tetsuya quickly found his anxious attendant and allowed Koji to fuss over him as he bathed and dressed him. Then, he returned to the gardens, only to find Byakuya absent and Torio waiting for him and wearing an apologetic expression.

"I am sorry, Tetsuya-san," he said, bowing his head respectfully, "Byakuya-sama was called away for a meeting of council. Apparently, there is an important dignitary in town and..."

"It is all right," Tetsuya assured him, shaking his head briefly, "I understand. I will be on my rounds."

He mounted Arashi and moved about the vast manor grounds, checking in with each guard post, then returning to find that Byakuya was still absent. He ate a quiet afternoon meal with Rukia, allowing her to engage him in simple conversation so that the worry would go out of her eyes, then walked back to his room and looked through his closet for something to wear.

"Can I help you find something?" Koji asked cautiously.

"Hmmm, I am invited to a formal dinner tonight and will be with someone rather important. I was looking for something comfortable for dancing, but formal enough for the occasion."

He smiled as Koji brightened at being given something to do, and he disappeared into the closet and emerged with a beautiful and eye catching two tone royal and sky blue kimono. His heart ached for a moment, remembering that it had been a birthday gift from his cousin, and Byakuya had removed it very quickly that night, once they were alone.

_But that shouldn't matter. It's appropriate for the occasion._

"That will be fine," he said, standing quietly as Koji dressed him and combed out the tumbled strands of his hair.

He gazed at himself in the mirror, then touched a fingertip to his throat.

"Koji, will you bring the Celtic moon charm necklace...the one my mother gave me?"

"That will be just the thing!" his attendant agreed, disappearing, then reappearing with the requested piece.

He fastened the necklace around Tetsuya's pale throat, then admired his cousin's reflection in the mirror.

"You look wonderful, Tetsuya-san," Koji said appreciatively.

"Thank you," Tetsuya responded, squeezing his attendant's hand gratefully, "I must be off, but I will be back later tonight if Byakuya-sama asks for me."

"Of course, Tetsuya-san," Koji said, bowing, "Have a good evening!"

Tetsuya noted the time and quickly sought Arashi. He mounted carefully, so as not to muss his kimono or hair too much and kept Arashi at a gentle pace all of the way. He dismounted just short of Shiba Manor's front gates and was greeted by Ichigo.

"I am sorry. Am I late?" Tetsuya asked.

"No, you are just on time," Ichigo assured him, "And you look fantastic! C'mon, we have to be introduced. This way."

Ichigo guided him in through a side door, then down a long hallway, where they emerged just outside the banquet room. The two stepped inside together, and Tetsuya froze instantly at seeing Byakuya and Minori standing a short distance away, looking at him in surprise.

"The Shiba Heir, Kurosaki Ichigo!" the greeter announced, "And his fiancé, Kuchiki Tetsuya!"


	9. Truth From Lies

**Chapter 9: Truth From Lies**

Byakuya sat silently with Minori at his side as the elders droned on and on in front of them, hammering out the details of the dignitaries dinner. But although he made mental note of the greeting dinner suddenly scheduled at Shiba Manor and a few other important details, his mind seemed unable to escape going back to think about Tetsuya and how he seemed to be coming undone.

_He is slowly spiraling out of control. Although he never defied me before, he seems to fight me at every turn now. Where he had been calm and sensible for many years since his arrival at Kuchiki Manor, now it seems that his emotions are strung so tightly, the slightest thing will undo him. I begin to dread being in his presence for fear that something I do or say will make him fall to pieces. I hate that I have done this to him. I would never want to see him hurt, and yet, I have done nothing but slowly tear him apart._

_It was selfish._

_Falling in love with him and taking him to bed was utter selfishness on my part. I should be glad that Ichigo is stepping in and helping him to cope. Kami knows he needs someone to ease his pain. And all I do is to increase it._

His mind drifted back to the night before...the wild and defensive look in those eyes that had only ever looked at him with passion and pure loyalty.

_No, there was that once when they were wild like that. But I thought that bringing him home and educating him would take that wildness out of him. I couldn't have been more wrong. Tetsuya grew to adulthood with no family, no education and no connection to his noble blood. I was the one who told him that those things were important. I molded him slowly into the image of noble perfection, all the while forgetting the peasant blood that would keep him from ever being completely accepted. But others would not forget, no matter how much he did for the family or how powerful he became. But he handled their prejudice with grace and deep tolerance...until...until I took up a position on the other side, forsaking him and leaving him alone against them._

_After I built him up and made him believe in himself...made him believe that blood shouldn't matter, that a person's heart and actions should be the measure of a soul. By that mark, Tetsuya is as noble as any of us, maybe more so. But in the end, what I told him were lies. Such pain I have caused him._

A hard jolt of mingled anger and discomfort passed through his abdomen as he recalled seeing Ichigo kiss Tetsuya. It didn't seem to matter that he fully accepted that he had lost the right to be the only one graced by those twin pools of sapphire blue, to be held in those strong, slender arms and loved fiercely, with passion that still betrayed the primal being Tetsuya had once been. To feel Tetsuya's heart leaving him was unbearable, even if it was completely deserved.

_What is wrong with me? I should be glad that Tetsuya is moving forward, and that he is connecting with a clan that accepts him based on his heart, powers and ability. And Ichigo, the savior of soul society is certainly a worthy person to love him. But even though I cannot be with Tetsuya, I cannot bear the thought of him lying down with that...Ichigo..._

Byakuya saw Minori glance at him for a moment and realized his reiatsu was flickering noticeably. He sighed softly and tried to control it, but found it rearing up again as he remembered the state Tetsuya had been in upon returning home.

_It wasn't even that he looked disgraceful. Tetsuya looks most beautiful when he wakes in the morning, the dreaminess still in his eyes, his body marked with our essences, his hair tumbled from lovemaking and sleep. How many times have I awakened to that breathtaking sight? And now it becomes like a dagger in the heart to know Ichigo saw him that way this morning._

_I wonder if Tetsuya gave in to him._

_I can't think about them making love. I will lose my mind. I know it's not right...not at all. But right doesn't matter so much when faced with how lovely he looked this morning. I wanted to take his hand and run away with him, then and there. Yes, I wanted to forget everything else and disappear with him. But then 'common sense' recaptured me and I said all of the wrong things to him. I could see the hurt returning as I treated him so callously._

_So...was it all just a pack of lies I told him? Was I lying when I said that I didn't believe that blood mattered as much as heart? As much as we lived that lie behind closed doors, we never said it in front of anyone else. Always, we hid that belief. But then...did I really believe what I was saying? If blood doesn't matter, then wouldn't I have fought harder to stay with him? I didn't put up a fight at all. I just turned my back on him and expected him to accept it. I tried to cushion the blow, but how much did it have to hurt to know that I had been living in denial? I said that I wasn't one of 'them.' I said that I belonged to him. But it wasn't true, and we both knew it. I didn't want to see the truth before and now I will hate myself for being the vain noble I really turned out to be, while Tetsuya chastises himself for ever believing in me._

_Will he ever forgive me?_

_Kami knows, I do not deserve his forgiveness, but..._

"Byakuya," Minori said softly, touching him lightly on the arm and startling him out of his reverie, "The meeting is over."

"Ah," the clan leader said, shaking his head to clear it, but only reliving Tetsuya's return to the manor that morning, "My apologies. It seems I became lost in my thoughts."

"It is all right," Minori said calmly, "You have a great deal on your mind."

"Come," Byakuya said, changing the subject and taking Minori's hand gently in his, "We should go on to Shiba Manor."

They walked quietly amidst the Kuchiki elders, Byakuya falling into his thoughts again and Minori respectfully giving him space, while remaining close at his side.

With the meeting over, Minori's thoughts returned to his concerns about Tetsuya's advancing pregnancy.

_It is becoming difficult to hide. I think that I will have to tell Tetsuya. I know it will make him likely to flee to protect his child, but there aren't any other options. Byakuya is constrained by the rules of the clans, and by the need to keep the peace between his clan and mine. If the elders of my clan learn of Tetsuya's pregnancy, then they will certainly become hostile again. Byakuya and I have already given up our futures to secure that peace. To have it break apart now..._

_But what can I do? If I marry Byakuya, we will not be able to have children. Only Tetsuya can have his child. And when Tetsuya's child is born, the elders will sense the heir. It won't be hidden after that and things will break apart anyway. I have no choice. I must tell Tetsuya...tonight. After the dignitaries dinner, I will tell him._

He turned his thoughts back to matters at hand, remaining at Byakuya's side as they reached Shiba Manor and were led into the banquet hall, where the greeter introduced them. Byakuya paused to accept two glasses of sake, one of which he handed to his fiance, then the two worked their way slowly around the room, greeting and conversing with the other invited guests.

"You seem quiet tonight, Minori," Byakuya said as they paused between visits to refresh their sake glasses.

"Ah, it was a long day," the younger man said, "I am just tired."

"Hmmm," Byakuya replied, frowning and looking around, "I do not yet see Ichigo. I wonder if he plans to wait until the guest of honor has already entered."

Minori chuckled softly in amusement.

"The Shibas are a different sort of clan, I suppose, and newly returned to their former status. But I think Ichigo does his best to do his family honor."

"Hmmm," Byakuya sighed, shaking his head and looking around briefly to see who they had not yet spoken to.

They started towards one of the Shiba elders, then paused and turned as a couple entered the room.

"The Shiba heir, Kurosaki Ichigo," the greeter announced, "and his fiance, Kuchiki Tetsuya!"

Byakuya stiffened instantly and his reiatsu rose dangerously. Across the room, Ichigo started to turn towards the greeter, his mouth opened to speak, but was stopped as Tetsuya squeezed his hand hard.

"Do not correct them right now!" he hissed softly, "Not here, in front of everyone. You'll dishonor us!"

Ichigo's mouth closed again as realization reached him that what his lovely date had said was, indeed, true. He and Tetsuya smiled warmly at the other guests, carefully avoiding the Kuchiki clan leader's darkened gaze. Byakuya recovered himself somewhat and glanced briefly at Minori.

"Byakuya," Minori said softly, "This might not be the time to address this...with all of these people here."

"Do not worry," Byakuya replied, keeping his eyes focused on Tetsuya, "I will speak with him privately."

"Perhaps it should wait a bit?" Minori suggested, the guest of honor is about to arrive and..."

"And I will return by the time that he is introduced," Byakuya said curtly, bowing briefly in farewell, then heading towards where Ichigo and Tetsuya stood, talking with Shiba Chiasa.

"You look simply _beautiful_ in that charming kimono, Tetsuya-san," Chiasa said, smiling widely as Tetsuya accepted her hand and bowed slightly to kiss it gently.

"Arigatou, Chiasa-sama," he replied politely, "You look very lovely, yourself."

"Ah, arigatou!" the elderly lady said, looking pleased, "And the two of you are enchanting together. I know you will be very happy, and may you bless our clan with many children!"

Tetsuya blushed sweetly and Ichigo slid an arm around him, meeting Byakuya's eyes squarely as Chiasa moved on and the Kuchiki leader approached them.

"Hello Byakuya," he said calmly, Welcome to Shiba Manor."

"Greetings," Byakuya said in a low, stern tone, "I imagine congratulations are in order, though I do not recall the Kuchiki elders speaking of a possible marriage between the two of you."

He turned a dark eye on Tetsuya.

"Did you feel it was unnecessary to inform our council or even tell _me_ that you would be marrying him?"

Tetsuya's eyes widened and he started to speak, but Ichigo stepped slightly in front of him and held Byakuya's gaze aggressively.

"Hey," he said, keeping his voice low enough to avoid attracting attention, "It was a mistake, that's all. You don't have to jump down his throat. You might have just realized he wouldn't have taken an action like that without talking to you first, and just waited for him to explain!"

"I don't need _you_ telling me how to deal with my cousin and kinsman," Byakuya growled softly, his eyes glinting dangerously, "And tell me _how exactly_ the Shiba elders mistakenly came to believe that the two of you were getting married."

Ichigo shrugged and met his gaze defiantly.

"Maybe they just thought that we looked good as a couple during the party last time and put two and two together. I don't know. But I do know that you really don't have a right to decide something like that for Tetsuya."

"Ichigo..."

"I was not attempting to _decide_ for him as much as remind him that there is a protocol in the clans for one marrying a clan leader."

"Tetsuya _knows_ that!" Ichigo snapped, keeping his voice low, "He's the one who advised me not to correct the mistake in public. That's why we went along with it. But if you know the etiquette, then you should have figured there was an explanation."

"Erm..." Minori interjected, looking around uncomfortably, "Might I suggest that we move this discussion to a more private place, so that we do not invite unwanted attention?"

Byakuya gave Ichigo a stern, questioning look, and the Shiba heir nodded in the direction of a small hallway. The four exited the banquet hall together and slipped into a small anteroom, closing the door behind them. Once they were alone, Ichigo turned to face Byakuya, his eyes challenging and his reiatsu sparking.

"So, are you saying that you object to the idea of Tetsuya marrying me?" he asked angrily, "Because, if you ask me, you really have no right to judge, considering."

"Matters between my cousin and me are not your business!" Byakuya fired back.

"B-byakuya-sama, Ichigo, please...!" Tetsuya interrupted.

"They are when you're obviously hurting him!" Ichigo went on, as though he hadn't heard, "It's fine if you want to dump him because he's not full blooded, although I think that's bullshit, but once you left him, you had no right to make decisions about his future!"

"I was not attempting to do that," Byakuya said sharply, "I was only reminding him of the reason why such a union cannot be!"

"Oh, come on! Don't give me that crap!" Ichigo shouted, "You just don't want him to be with someone else. And that's pretty damned selfish!"

"Actually," Byakuya said icily, "there was a completely reasonable explanation for my objection, if you will cease shouting and listen for a moment."

"Oh, I'm all ears," Ichigo said readily, "Go ahead, explain away!"

"Very well," said Byakuya, "The reason is this...only a Breeder Male or a female is allowed to marry a clan leader."

"What shit are you trying to hand me now?" Ichigo objected, "I know damned well that Tetsuya is a Breeder Male. He told me!"

"Did he also tell you that he was deemed unfit to carry another child?"

Behind Byakuya, Minori's eyes rounded.

_What?_

"You mean that he _didn't_ tell you," Byakuya concluded, "That is interesting."

He turned his eyes on his cousin.

"Tetsuya?"

"I was never asked about marrying Ichigo," he said, his voice trembling slightly, "It was a misunderstanding. One of the Shiba elders nearly fell down the stairs, and I caught her up. She saw how I was dressed and that I must have come out of Ichigo's room and she drew that conclusion and left before I could correct her. She must have told others, who concluded that it was fact. But, I never went behind your back. Honestly!"

He went pale at the muted fury in Byakuya's eyes as the clan leader addressed him next.

"And if you were so concerned with propriety and 'doing the right thing,' then why did you sleep with Ichigo last night? Were you trying to get back at me?"

"If that's what you think, then you are not worthy of Tetsuya's love!" Ichigo said harshly, "You know better than that. You saw how he was when we left the manor last night. Do you really think I would take advantage of him, knowing that he is still in love with you? Do you honestly think Tetsuya would do that? You're an idiot!"

"Shut your mouth, _boy_!" Byakuya said hotly, his reiatsu spiking, "Don't you _dare_ presume to judge me..."

"Ichigo is right," Tetsuya said, freezing Byakuya in place and making his dark eyes go steely with the effort of forcing down his anger, "I do not know how you could think that I, of all people, and the way I was last night, could ever act in such a disgraceful way! I am still in love with you! How could you think that I would ever lie down with someone else like that? Ichigo only comforted me! How dare you turn that into something so...so...!"

He broke off suddenly, wincing and grabbing his midsection. The other three men's faces instantly lit with concern.

"Tetsuya!" Byakuya gasped, moving forward.

Ichigo stepped in front of him, shielding Tetsuya as Minori flash stepped around him and gained the distressed noble's side.

"Get out of the way!" Byakuya snapped furiously.

"Leave him alone!" Ichigo cried, his reiatsu swelling around him.

"Stop it!" Tetsuya sobbed, "Please, stop! Both of you!"

"Try to relax," Minori said softly, slipping an arm around Tetsuya and easing him down onto a sofa, then kneeling beside him, "It will be all right."

"But they are...fighting...and it's...it's my fault!"

Byakuya and Ichigo went still, braced against each other and still furious, but halted by the effect their dispute was having on the other young man.

"Tetsuya's right. We should stop," said Ichigo.

"P-please, I think that Byakuya and I should talk alone, Ichigo," the white-faced Tetsuya managed, as Minori's reiatsu began to flow into his trembling body.

"Tetsuya, you need healing," Minori insisted.

"My cousin can provide the healing reiatsu I need," Tetsuya panted, his forehead breaking out in a sweat, "This has waited too long. Please, Minori-sama, we need to work things out so that this stops!"

"You should listen to Minori," Byakuya said, more gently, worry reflecting in his eyes.

"I will," Tetsuya promised, "You can manage the reiatsu flow until we have spoken, then I will get whatever other healing you wish. But I cannot relax enough to heal with things in such disarray. This has already gotten far out of hand."

"I understand," Byakuya agreed, lowering his eyes, "Ichigo, Minori, will you please excuse us?"

Minori hesitated, looking worriedly down at Tetsuya's abdomen, then he rose and started out of the room.

"I'll be back in the banquet room with Minori when you are done talking to him. I can take you home or to the healing center after."

Tetsuya nodded wordlessly, and he and Byakuya watched in silence as the other two men left. Byakuya laid his hands on Tetsuya's warm abdomen, infusing his body with comforting reiatsu as the two struggled for words.

"I am sorry that I jumped to conclusions," Byakuya said softly, "I should have stopped to think. You would not do what I accused you of...not even in anger."

"It is all right," Tetsuya assured him, watching his former lover's hands as they touched him, "I actually was ready to accuse you of setting us up for marriage behind my back so that you would be able to get me out of your way."

"It seems we vastly misjudged each other," Byakuya commented.

"Yes. Byakuya-sama..."

Tetsuya went still, his eyes widening and his hands suddenly clawing at Byakuya's arms as a swell of reiatsu rose up around them.

"What...?" Byakuya gasped, reeling as the thunderous roar of a reiatsu bomb shook the building.

Without hesitation, Byakuya dragged Tetsuya down onto the floor and shielded his cousin's body with his body and reiatsu. Tetsuya's cry of terror rang in their minds as everything exploded around them, plunging them into darkness.


	10. Out of Blackness

**Chapter 10: Out of Blackness**

**(Ah, finally done! I've had so many things coming at me in RL, I've barely had time to write. But things are slowing finally and more chapters are coming. But this one is special. I was anxiously awaiting writing this. I hope it resonates. Thanks going out to Snowflowersister of Toshiro241 (Those two just can't stay out of trouble, can they?!), PlayMyPoisonousGame (Aww, well this chapter really worked my emotions too! Enjoy!), Picklez80 (Here you go!), Periwinkle (More is delivered!), Winterheart2000 (Yup, Ichigo is good at getting under Bya's skin, but he also has a pretty good sense about cutting through the BS!), Kyuumihaira (Just in time, here's MORE to spaz over! *grins wickedly*), Walkure (Yup, you had that right! These couples are pretty topsy turvy right now.), Shenigmatic (Yeah, you want emotion? This chapter is chock-full of it and then some! I had to break out the dark chocolate...always a sign of strong emotion.), SunlessNights (Oh, Ichigo isn't bad. He's just a very good looking and mouthy good guy!), Purple Light Snow (If you think that was good, wait until he learns about the baby!), Guest (Tet and Ichi are cute, but someone else may be on Ichi's horizon!), BunnyHopster26 (Aww, so glad I could cheer you! And here' more intrigue to send you into loops!) and NamineLily (Heh, it's not too late for that...) Enjoy the chapter! Love you, Spunky)**

"You okay?" Ichigo asked Minori as the two left Byakuya and Tetsuya alone in the anteroom to talk, and started back towards the banquet hall, "You looked kinda rattled about leaving them alone."

"I must admit that I do not feel altogether good about leaving the two of them together," Minori admitted as he and Ichigo started back down the hallway, to the banquet room, "In addition to Tetsuya's condition being worrisome, the emotions between them are extremely volatile."

"You don't have to worry about them hurting each other. They're not like that."

"No," Minori agreed, "They would not ever mean to hurt each other. But lately they have done a great deal of damage to each other without meaning to. They are caught up in a dreadful situation. But then, being a clan heir, yourself, you are learning what it is like, ne?"

"Yeah," Ichigo agreed, smiling ruefully, "All too quickly, if you ask me. There's a lot about being noble that's really hard for me to understand, let alone put up with. Luckily for me, our clan isn't quite as stuffy. Probably because we've only recently regained our status. Still, sometimes I really miss being...I don't know...the way I was."

"I understand," Minori said, smiling, "I rather feel that way about being discovered to be a Breeder Male. Before, not being heir to my clan would have meant that I could have freedom in choosing my mate. As it is, I was forced to accept Byakuya's hand, even though neither of us really wants to marry the other."

"Aw, Byakuya's not so bad, though," Ichigo said bracingly, "Sometimes he acts like a jerk, but mostly, he doesn't really mean it. He's just real stiff about obeying the rules...at least on the surface. He rebels a lot in private, though."

"Yes," Minori agreed, his eyes troubled, "which is part of the reason that Tetsuya is on such shaky ground emotionally lately. Up to this point, he and Byakuya have proceeded under the belief that it was enough for them to 'rebel in private,' not thinking about what would happen when the elders chose a spouse for their clan leader."

"Ah," Ichigo said, his eyes growing sad, "Right. That's got to be painful, especially with Tetsuya living at the manor and working so closely with Byakuya."

"What is even harder is watching the two of them, who truly love each other, fall apart. I want to believe that true love exists, Ichigo. And that it is enough to come through anything, but..."

He paused for a moment, frowning and looking down at his hands.

"What is it?" Ichigo asked, looking at him questioningly.

"An oddity in the reiatsu around us. Do you not feel it?"

At that moment, the sound of a shouting voice floated in from the room beyond the door ahead of them.

"_May I have your attention. This is a matter of security. Please proceed to the nearest exit and leave the building immediately."_

"That's Soi Fon," Ichigo mused, "It sounds serious."

"Byakuya and Tetsuya...!" Minori exclaimed, turning back towards the anteroom.

A heavy rumble shook the building and a deafening roar shocked their ears. Ichigo wrapped an arm around Minori and crashed through a door, heading for the window in the room. They were halfway across the room when the walls exploded around them. Ichigo threw the two of them to the floor, taking cover under a small table as the room exploded around them and debris rained down onto their curled bodies.

XXXXXXXXXX

Tetsuya felt something warm drip onto his face and scented blood. Groaning with discomfort, he forced his eyes open slightly and found himself lying on his back, beneath his cousin's sprawled body, and looking up at Byakuya's partially turned head. The blood seeped out of a gash along the side of his head, and looked to be substantial.

"B-byakuya!" he gasped, panting harshly at the pain that wracked his trapped body as he tried to squirm free, "Byakuya!"

A sob of relief escaped the younger noble's trembling lips as Byakuya's eyelids fluttered, and he drew several slow, shaky breaths, then opened his eyes. Tetsuya quickly maneuvered his hands so that he could tear away a bit of his damaged kimono. He folded the small section of cloth and pressed it to the wound on Byakuya's head.

"Byakuya!" he whispered again.

"Was that...a...?"

"A reiatsu bomb," Tetsuya said, calming as his security training overtook his fear, "A powerful one. It seems to have had...kido disruptors, inflicting g-great damage and interfering with our powers."

"Which explains...why my shielding was so little protection," Byakuya acknowledged, "Are you all right?"

"I...I think so," Tetsuya said, shifting beneath his cousin's body, but falling still, his eyes widening at the sound of pain Byakuya emitted.

"Byakuya-sama!"

"It's all right," Byakuya panted softly, closing his eyes for a moment, then opening them and looking down into Tetsuya's, "I do not think anything is broken."

"Good," Tetsuya sighed, "That is a relief. But how will we get out? With the reiatsu around us in such disarray, we cannot use our powers. And as soon as the Onmitsukido arrive, they will likely lay a reiatsu inhibitor over the area so that they can rule out the presence of other bombs."

"Meaning that we will be without our powers and rescue will likely not come for awhile," Byakuya surmised.

Tetsuya paused for a moment, then brightened.

"Arashi!" he hissed softly.

_Arashi, can you hear me? _Tetsuya thought, picturing the stallion in his mind, _There has been an explosion. Where are you?_

Arashi's wispy voice sounded immediately in Tetsuya's mind.

_I am outside the building. I was trying to connect with you, but your mind was still reacting to your situation, so you could not hear my thoughts, _the stallion answered.

_Do you think you can free us? _Tetsuya asked.

_I cannot reach you right now, _Arashi answered worriedly, _The Onmitsukido have lain the inhibitor and are searching for more incendiary devices. Master, they have already found a second device, and they fear there might be several more. It will be some time._

_Byakuya is injured! _Tetsuya informed the stallion, _You must look through my eyes and inform the searchers where we are. Also, I want you to locate Minori-sama and Ichigo. They are likely in the hallway, outside the room we are in, or they are in a nearby room. I do not think that they had time to reach the banquet room._

_And that is a good thing, _Arashi informed him, _The banquet hall took the brunt of the damage, and they are working to control the fires there, as well as searching for more bombs and digging out victims. There have been several deaths and many serious injuries, although, the Onmitsukido actually arrived a few moments before the blast and was evacuating when the bombs exploded._

_Bombs? _Tetsuya queried.

_There were several that exploded. And there could be more that did not detonate. I will inform you when the Onmitsukido gives the 'All Clear' signal._

_Very well._

_I am honing in on your location now. I will be sure that the Onmitsukido knows, and I will begin looking for Minori-sama and Ichigo-sama._

_Thank you, Arashi._

Tetsuya broke away from the link and opened his eyes, then he relayed the information he had exchanged with the stallion to his injured cousin.

"It will be a while before they can reach us," he concluded, "I cannot heal you in the usual way, but you cannot wait so long as we have to, so I will have to share a bit of my life force with you."

"Tetsuya, no..." Byakuya objected, wincing as Tetsuya checked under the bit of cloth he had pressed to Byakuya's head wound, and found that it was still bleeding.

"There is no choice," the younger man said, shaking his head slightly, "You know I am right. Just be still, now."

"Tetsuya..."

Byakuya went silent, his dark, troubled eyes focused on his cousin, and watching closely as his body began to glow a soft, lovely blue, and he touched his fingers to the bleeding wound. The bleeding stopped immediately as Tetsuya's yielded life force entered the wound and slowly eliminated it. He started to attempt further healing, but was stopped as Byakuya shook his head, frowning, and pulled away.

"That is enough," he said in a somewhat breathless voice, "Flowing life force can be used for small acts of healing, but you know it wears greatly on the body and is restored much more slowly than normal reiatsu. And you were already not well, Tetsuya."

"I know," Tetsuya said softly, his fingertips tracing the place where the gash had been, "But I cannot bear the thought of you hurting."

Sudden guilt flashed in Byakuya's dark eyes, then disappeared.

"How can you worry yourself about such a thing? Especially after what I did to you. Tetsuya, you should hate me. I am everything I reviled, everything I said that I wasn't. You should despise me for lying to you."

Tetsuya gave him a sad smile and brushed his lips against his cousin's tentatively.

"I know you," he whispered, "Our separation has hurt you every bit as much as me. The difference is that Byakuya-sama is stronger in heart than I am. He can tolerate great pain without crying, and he can do what he must, even though it tears at his heart. Even though I try, when I _can_ control my tears, they come down as rain. Whether from the sky or from my eyes, I always cry. I am not strong like you."

"That is not true," Byakuya corrected him, touching his fingers to Tetsuya's lips to stop his words, "You are the stronger in heart, Tetsuya. You are the one paying the price for our rebellion."

He sighed regretfully, lowering his eyes.

"You remain true to yourself, through everything...suffering greatly but refusing to relinquish what you believe. You are nobler than all of us, denying yourself that place which should rightfully be yours...and not blaming me for turning my back on you as soon as duty dictated that I must."

"I do not blame you for that," Tetsuya whispered, tears rising in his eyes, "I have always understood that your place as our leader means that there are things you simply cannot do. But even knowing that, I could not resist being with you."

Tetsuya's cold hands captured his face, the shaking fingers caressing lightly and glowing again as resonant power circulated between them.

"It is not your fault that I am hurting so badly now. The hurt is there because I let myself love you with everything in me. There was no other way for me."

"But I encouraged you when I knew..."

"I knew the truth too," Tetsuya reminded him, a tear emerging from one wet, sapphire eye and rolling down his cheek, "But my impulse to love you was so great that I would do anything. I gave everything and I knew that when it ended, I would be left with nothing...empty and broken. But I chose to accept the cost, because it was better to have loved you and to have lost your love, than never to have known it. I am not sorry, and you should not be either!"

"Tetsuya!" Byakuya whispered, his face paling and the hands that captured his cousin's trembling softly.

"I love you, Byakuya-sama!" Tetsuya sobbed, his hands clenching his cousin's, "And I will always love you!"

"I love you too!" Byakuya responded, without hesitation, "I will never stop loving you, Tetsuya!"

The two men stared in surprise as the glow around their bodies intensified, and they felt their awareness fading.

"What is this?" Byakuya asked shakenly, "Is this the power of the resonance between us? And if it is, how could we defy something so strong?"

Their words disappeared into a storm of kisses as warm light flooded their trapped bodies. Tetsuya barely felt the hands that bared him, but gasped in surprise and helpless joy as his body was suddenly joined with Byakuya's. Their minds spinning with the feeling of deep connectedness, they moved together, removed, for the moment, from the place where their bodies laid amidst the rubble, and made one. And no doubt remained in either man's mind about what was between them. It was nothing less than perfection as they made love, even there in the wreckage of the Shiba council gathering hall. It was as though they had left reality altogether. Neither had any control as their bodies gave and received pleasure.

Finally, Tetsuya gave a hard gasp of completion, shuddering and closing his eyes tightly as Byakuya held him tightly and filled him with his hot release.

They laid quietly afterward, their bodies still joined and Byakuya's pale fingers gently caressing his cousin's hair and face.

"I do not understand this," the clan leader said softly, "I did not intend to let this happen. I think it is cruel for me to tease you with my affections this way when there is no future for us. I was resolved to let you go, even if that meant that you would become someone else's lover, Tetsuya. Yet I cannot bear to think of being with someone else, or to think of you being with someone else. And whether or not we want this to happen, we keep returning to this. It moves beyond our control and threatens to end in clan war. You know that if I dishonor Minori, even if he does not hate me for it, his family will declare war upon us. That would only end in many deaths and too much destruction. Tetsuya, I do not know what to do!"

Tetsuya bit gently as his lips, his wide blue eyes growing stormy and sad as he gazed up at his cousin.

"Then...I must leave the manor," he concluded, "If I am not there to tempt you, then you will not be taken from your intended path."

"Tetsuya, no."

"We cannot go on like this," Tetsuya whispered wearily, his eyes tearing again as he kissed Byakuya's lips softly and ran his fingers slowly through his elder cousin's riled hair, "It pushes us to the brink and threatens to destroy too much that we protect. And besides, I think my heart would break apart the night of your wedding, when you must lie down with Minori-sama. I do not hate him for being with you, nor you for doing what you must, but the very thought of you lying down together threatens to unhinge me."

Byakuya's lips tightened for a long moment, and he looked as though he would object, but finally, he sighed and let out a shaky breath.

"I suppose it is cruel to make you stay and be witness to that. But...where will you go? Will you go to Sadao and Mai? They are your adoptive family. They would welcome you home happily, I am sure. And you would see more of your sisters. You would still be close by."

Tetsuya swallowed hard and debated inwardly whether or not to be honest about his intentions.

_If I tell him that I plan to leave for good, I will only rile things at a time when we cannot afford it. To set things in place and then break the news would be kinder. He will not have to agonize as I prepare the way for my leaving._

"That...does make sense," he replied cautiously, "But we can work all of that out later. For now, we should just focus on getting out of here. I am beginning to feel flickers of my powers. I think that they will raise the barrier soon."

"Most likely," Byakuya agreed, resting his face against Tetsuya's and tracing the lines of the younger man's body with his fingertips, "But while we wait, I want to fix you in my mind. This is the last time we will be together, and as much as it weighs on my heart, I want to remember what true love feels like."

"Me too," Tetsuya whispered, closing his eyes and holding on tightly.

They surrendered to their passions one last time, looking into each others' eyes and feeling the slow, gradual approach of their rescuers. Their release this time was as stormy and enthralling as a hurricane and left their hearts in tatters as they finally broke apart.

"I love you. I will always love you," Byakuya whispered, a rare tear leaking from one proud eye.

"You will always have my heart," Tetsuya promised, "No matter that we are parted from each other."

Outside the smoking ruins of the Shiba council hall, the sky clouded suddenly, and a steady rain began to fall.

XXXXXXXXXX

Minori felt his consciousness returning and sensed immediately that something was horridly wrong. His eyes flickered open and he found himself gazing up into Kurosaki Ichigo's worried eyes. Pain began to flare a moment later, and the young noble cried out in agony. Instantly, Ichigo's hands touched his face, soothing him.

"It's okay," he said, his voice shaking slightly, "I know it hurts, but you're going to be okay, all right?"

Minori knew full well that the other man was lying, but faced with what he sensed were devastating injuries, he couldn't bring himself to answer.

_I am...dying?_

"Hey," Ichigo said, touching his face again and seeking his eyes, "Hang in there. Help will be here soon."

Minori bit at his lips gently and met Ichigo's eyes squarely, gathering his nerve.

"You and I know that it won't be soon enough...not for me."

Ichigo started to object, but Minori shook his head slightly, and immediately regretted it as pain cracked through the area, making him pause and gasp for breath. He heard Ichigo speaking, but couldn't make sense of the words. He sensed that his life force was draining steadily away and forced himself to meet Ichigo's saddened eyes again.

"Don't worry," he panted softly, "I come from a family of h-healers. Death is ever a part of life. I am not afraid."

"Don't talk like that. You're not going to die," Ichigo said determinedly.

Minori found himself smiling. He reached up and clasped at Ichigo's hand, struggling for breath again.

"Th-thank you, Ichigo," he whispered gratefully, "I am...honored to be counted among your friends. To have you comfort me as I pass from life gives me peace. But...before I leave you, I must ask you to do something for me."

"I told you, you're not going to die," Ichigo said firmly.

"Please, Ichigo, I must make sure this is done. Two lives depend on it!"

"What?" Ichigo asked, frowning, "What do you mean? Who are we talking about? Whose lives are in danger?"

"T-tetsuya!" Minori gasped desperately.

"What? What's wrong with Tetsuya? I mean, I know he's been sick, but...?"

"Tetsuya is not sick," Minori confessed in a soft, shaking voice, "He is with child."

Ichigo stared at the younger man uncomprehendingly.

"Tetsuya is carrying B-byakuya's child!"

The ginger-haired youth continued to stare in surprise.

"Tetsuya is pregnant?"

"Yes!"

"But didn't Byakuya say earlier that Tetsuya couldn't have children? That is was too dangerous? Does Byakuya even know?"

"No," Minori sobbed, "I discovered the pregnancy when Tetsuya was injured protecting me. Had I allowed my clan to learn of this, then they would have made war on the Kuchiki clan and many lives would have ended as a result. Had I told Byakuya, he would have been required by law to reveal it to the Kuchiki elders, and they would have had Tetsuya jailed and executed. They know that if a man impregnates a Breeder Male, the two men are soul bonded and cannot mate with another unless one of them dies, breaking the bond. Even if Tetsuya was not targeted for execution, there are those within the family who would see that he died before his child ever drew breath. The hatred for Breeder Males and mixed blood is still very powerful with some clan members."

"And you didn't tell Tetsuya?"

"I c-couldn't! If he learned he was pregnant, he would have run away. He would have to if he wanted to survive to have Byakuya's child. So...I hid the pregnancy, even from Tetsuya, himself, and I pondered what to do as the child grew within him. I still do not know what to do. But I do know one thing. If I die now, then the Kuchiki clan will not be forced into a war. And Tetsuya and Byakuya will be freed to be together. They will still have to overcome the treachery of those who would target Tetsuya and the new heir, but they would be fighting the Kuchiki elders as well, because once born, an heir, even a mixed blood one, is protected by clan law."

"Yeah?" Ichigo said, squeezing his hand, "Well, then, they're gonna have to find another way, because as much as you think that everything will be better if you die, I don't happen to share that opinion. And being one of my friends, I'm not going to let you die anyway!"

Minori's smile warmed and he sniffed softly, a tear welling up from one earthy brown eye.

"Thank you for fighting so hard to keep me here," he whispered in a fading voice, "I wish that I could have lived long enough to have fallen in love. Because...if I had, I would have wanted that person I loved to be like you...strong, stubborn, loyal and bearing such a kind heart. You were there for Byakuya when he nearly died, and for Tetsuya as his heart was breaking...and now you have been there for me, in my last moments. I will forever remember your kindness, Kurosaki Ichigo!"

He couldn't hear Ichigo's voice anymore as his eyes closed and he felt as though he had begun a very long fall. But even as he felt his breaths stop and his heart slow, a warm hand took hold of his and held it firmly.

_No way, _Ichigo's voice whispered in his mind, _Not while I live and breathe..._

White light exploded around the young noble's shocked form, then flooded into him, holding him forcefully in Ichigo's strong, bracing arms.

_You're staying with me._


End file.
